SRS Just broke up with my gf

[souri4life]

And I feel like absolute shit.. I'm not really looking for advice, just kinda needed to vent somewhere.
So I've been dating this girl for over 8 months now, and even though I've had a great time with her it came to a point where I realized she's a lot more serious about the relationship than I am. I decided to break up with her because I felt like staying with her would just lead her on and get her hopes up. What I didn't realize is that by breaking up with her I absolutely demolished her heart.
I've never had a girl react this way in a breakup, and now I feel like crap. I realize that I did nothing wrong, and she's just going to have to tough it up, but I still can't help but feel bad and somewhat guilty.

 

[Hannibal King]

Be glad that you did it. I was in the same situation as you but didn't have the balls to break up with her because I didn't want to hurt her. 7 years later I'm still with her and now its pretty much impossible to break up with her. I'd rather be single right now fucking any bitch that i want to and chilling with my boys than being stuck at home with her.

 

[American SuperBeast]

If you didnt want a really serious relationship and she did then be glad you did it. Rather sooner than later. She will get over it. She might be crushed right now but she will get over it eventually just like everyone else.

 

[7960]

.... I'm still with her and now its pretty much impossible to break up with her.

Why?

 

[ccampb6]

Did you discuss this(getting too serious) with her before you pulled the plug?

 

[THoC]

And I feel like absolute shit.. I'm not really looking for advice, just kinda needed to vent somewhere.
So I've been dating this girl for over 8 months now, and even though I've had a great time with her it came to a point where I realized she's a lot more serious about the relationship than I am. I decided to break up with her because I felt like staying with her would just lead her on and get her hopes up. What I didn't realize is that by breaking up with her I absolutely demolished her heart.
I've never had a girl react this way in a breakup, and now I feel like crap. I realize that I did nothing wrong, and she's just going to have to tough it up, but I still can't help but feel bad and somewhat guilty.

you sure you did nothing wrong? were you up front w. her that you didnt feel this was serious? or did you let her think what she wanted and dragged it for 8 months?

Be glad that you did it. I was in the same situation as you but didn't have the balls to break up with her because I didn't want to hurt her. 7 years later I'm still with her and now its pretty much impossible to break up with her. I'd rather be single right now fucking any bitch that i want to and chilling with my boys than being stuck at home with her.

why would you be stuck w. her? since when does the length of a RS have anything to do w. not being able to break up? if you dont want to be w. her break it off

 

[souri4life]

you sure you did nothing wrong? were you up front w. her that you didnt feel this was serious? or did you let her think what she wanted and dragged it for 8 months?

I wasn't really looking to discuss this, just wanted to vent somewhere but I'll address your post. Yes I'm sure I didn't do anything wrong. I did feel the relationship was serious in the sense that I cared for her, but I'm nowhere near ready for something as serious as marriage. We never discussed marriage or a serious long term commitment (such as moving in together) because, at least to me, we weren't ready for something that big. Had she brought up anything of that sort I would have been completely honest with her. About a week ago one of her relatives made a joke about "when we get married" and thats when I realized that she even had that thought in her head and started thinking about breaking up with her.

 

[souri4life]

Did you discuss this(getting too serious) with her before you pulled the plug?

Not directly no. I feared that if I told her that we're moving too fast and we need to slow down our relationship (therefore staying together), I would be leading her on to believe that I just need more time. The truth is I'm nowhere near ready for a serious commitment. I'm in my last semester of studies and shes just starting hers next fall. I'll be looking for a career job in a couple months, and if I manage to score one in my field of study it would require me to travel for extended periods of time (meaning I'll be gone for 1year+) and she already knew that.
I realize that telling her directly that I don't plan to marry her would have avoided her building up a fantasy in her head, but at the same time I had no idea she even had this fantasy until about a week ago. In addition to this, everything in our relationship pointed to us not having a long term relationship. We still haven't told each other the infamous "I love you", I still haven't introduced her to my family...etc

 

[THoC]

I wasn't really looking to discuss this, just wanted to vent somewhere but I'll address your post. Yes I'm sure I didn't do anything wrong. I did feel the relationship was serious in the sense that I cared for her, but I'm nowhere near ready for something as serious as marriage. We never discussed marriage or a serious long term commitment (such as moving in together) because, at least to me, we weren't ready for something that big. Had she brought up anything of that sort I would have been completely honest with her. About a week ago one of her relatives made a joke about "when we get married" and thats when I realized that she even had that thought in her head and started thinking about breaking up with her.

gotcha, thanks for sharing.

just seems like 8 months is a long time to stay w. someone just bc if you dont see yourself being serious.
why get into a RS to begin with? just date around until you know you are ready for one.