I've known this girl for awhile now, since sophomore year of high school, and I am now a 5th year senior in college. From the first time I met her, I liked her, I mean really liked her. Throughout HS, she was always there for me. I went through a pretty brutal depressive state during HS and she was the person who stayed up with me to talk about my problems. I even started to cut for awhile, and she was there to console me during those times, and try to steer me away from that nasty habit. I had never felt so close & so loved by any other person in my life. Throughout this, i told her how i felt about her, and she had told me that she didn't have any feelings in return. We even talked about my feelings all the time, and she gave that typical HS response, what good would it be to going out anyway? Friends last forever, while boyfriends are only permanent. I accepted it. Freshman year of college, I was still into her. I couldn't get the idea of her out of my head, someone who I felt so close too. Often I would almost imagine having conversations with her. During the day when events occurred, I would imagine myself telling her about it, although I never would, cause she wasn't my girlfriend. Slowly by slowly that is dying down. But still, even now, it is not completely gone and I have these "imaginative wanting of talks" almost. Fast forwarding to now, where she has a boyfriend and she is happy. I just can't get over it, over her. But the thing that pisses me off the most is she is not like who she used to be, and I understand that. I can see it, how she is a different person, not the same girl I knew from back in HS, the same girl I was so into. However, every time I see her, I can only see her in that light. I know I would never want to be with this women, who she is now, but I just don't see her as who she is right now. I always find a way to imagine her as the way she used to be, the way when I was so close to her. It just kills me, because it makes it so difficult to hang out with her, talk to her, be around her without thinking of how she used to be and that as my vision of her. It's frustrating because I guess I am not over her, but I don't like her as the person she is now, but I can't get it through my head that she is different. I still want to be with her, knowing full well that she is a different person, not someone I'd want to be with, but I don't know. Thank you for those who read it through, I realize there is no question I am asking, but as the thread title says, I am just venting. Any opinions, similar stories, whatever would be greatly appreciated.