Ladder Theory real or a crock?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BATMANs, Apr 24, 2007.

  1. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I haven't clicked the link but I'm sure the "ladder theory" is still the same concept I've always heard.

    I'm here to say (at least as one woman) who says it's bullshit. I've almost always just dated my friends. I've even dated guys who were my friends for a long time before I was ever interested in them in that way.
     
  3. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    So if a gal tells me that she wants to be friends, but we kiss, even slept nekkid in my bed petting, necking, spooning and right when I had the dick head inserted she backed out and said that she didn't want to destroy our relationship should I worry about being on the friends ladder?
     
  4. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    IS this to do with friendzones?

    Either way i think it's complete crap.

    Theres no such thing as getting friendzowned.
     
  5. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    It's alot of content.

    Use www.guardster.com

    Bottom line is that women have 2 ladders. Friends and BF/hubby material.

    As a guy u want to avoide the friends ladder if u want to get some ass.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It's correct a lot of the time. There are always exceptions, however.

    For example, I have female friends that I am not attracted to. This violates ladder theory. However, I am friends with them because they provide intellectual stimulation (they are smart).

    But for the most part, it's true.

    And being friendzoned is a real thing. Do you have female friends who will not sleep with you? You're friendzoned.
     
  7. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    well, as i mentioned that night (on our 4th date and 3 weeks of knowing each other I accepted her offer to stay with me (she's offered for me to stay over night in the past 2 dates - perhaps for a cuddle).

    That's when I had my dick head buried in her and she wanted to stop and didn't want to "destroy" a "good" thing that we had.

    She's left for Taiwan a few days later to visit her family and for some business venture that may last 6-8 weeks.

    So as of now, I literally went to this jap noodle place where there is a cute Indonesian gal that looks like one of those petite Singapore Airlines Stewardess. I've been going there for over a year and finally asked her for her number.

    Of course I was sneaky.

    "Hey, I might be going to Indonesia for business for a few weeks and don't know the culture and language. I was hoping that we can get together and u can bring me up to speed...."

    This one is 10 years younger.
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    No that means they either aren't attracted to you or they don't sleep around. If she thinks you're ugly or not her type then you aren't going to be any more than a friend. That whole theory is a bunch of BS. The guys that wrote that are too stupid to understand the concept of attraction and that not every female will be attracted to you, no matter what you do.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That IS the defintion of being friendzoned.
     
  10. P7

    P7 You have something on your tongue, let me get that

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    :rofl: Denial.
     
  11. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Not really, that site makes too big of a deal out of all the dumb stuff like money. And they make it sound like you can't start out as friends and then become more which is BS. Any good relationship should start out as friends first so you can see what each other is really like.
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I see where you're coming from.

    Ladder theory would explain your last situation as "the guy was always on the 'good' ladder."

    In my longest relationship (3.5 years) we started out as friends. However, honestly we were probably friends for a week or two tops before we started dating. I doubt there are any longterm friendships that become relationships (unless the people had those feelings from the start).
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    lol I was taking this one directly from ladder theory.

    And why does everyone think that one outlier disproves and entire theory? These aren't set in stone rules... they're general guidelines that apply a lot of the time.
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I think dating is way more sucessful with random people then trying with friends. Not to say it does not work.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Neither of the two theories we've argued about today were mine.

    And they're theories. They're not laws. They don't apply for everyone. So :greddy:at you, too.
     
  16. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Oh. Yeah. Well later I said that was an extrapoloation based on the comfort zone theory.

    But yeah... I read a lot of stuff while I'm at work (shhh... don't tell anyone). I'm analytical by nature so I do this all the time with everything. You should see my collection of stock market/trading books :)
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Because it's not just one outlier. The friendzone stuff sounds like it would apply to high school kids, not adults. Adults realize that great relationships can and do start out as friends first and that's a much better way to go. I've never had a relationship that didn't start out as friends first and I wouldn't want to.

    What do you call it when you meet a girl that doesn't fit all your qualifications? I bet you don't refer to her as being in the "friendzone", you'd just say that you weren't interested in her in that way or that she didn't meet your standards. There's no need for some silly term and a pages long explanation to explain the simple concept of attraction.
     
  18. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    which path is more likely to lead to a "soulmate?"

    Friends first? or lovers first?

    I must admit that almost all of my relationship started out as friends where the gals had BFs.

    However, in this particular one that I am seeing she asked if we should be friends. I'm not sure if that means friends first and more later or if that means that I am on her friends ladder, which I have no intention of being on.

    She just turned 30 and according to her alot of things clicked in her head to settle down, etc....
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I hate that term. Guys use it as a crutch or something and it's just because a girl doesn't find that guy attractive. Get over it. You can't help who you are attracted to.
     
  20. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    that's true.

    I've broken the friend zone by making up for it in other areas (mostly the intangibles).

    Females are like tides. U have to catch them at the right time. Their menstual cycle is an example...
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Your obstacle was not the ladder theory.

    You have to learn not to lend credence to the words that come out of her mouth.

    She was communicating to you non-verbally that she wanted to have sex.

    The words were last-minute resistance on her part. Basically, in order to not be a slut, the sex has to be "your fault."

    She wants to put up resistance so that in her mind, she tried to say no, but "it just happened."

    In the future, when you hear words like that from a girl who has already non-verbally communicated to you that she wants to fuck, you can't let it affect your frame.

    If that happened to me, I would say "You know what? You are exactly right. I value your friendship much more than any possible temporary physical gratification, even knowing how amazing it would be" then I would have immediately gotten out of bed and found something to do, like make a sandwich or get on the computer.

    This is referred to as a "takeaway."
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I totally agree with this.

    Timing is extremely important.

    I can tell that at times during the month hardly any girl looks my way. Then other times I can walk into a bookstore or other public place and literally feel the sexual tension because all the women want to fuck.
     
  23. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    It's bullshit cliffnotes on what happens when a guy acts like a bitch around a girl.
     
  24. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    :werd: mah nga
     
  25. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    That's what I was thinking.

    She wants to fuck, but she doesn't want to appear like a slut.

    One time she made reference that her sister only had one partner.

    She won't tell me how many partners she's had.

    SHe's asked if I cheated. I said no and asked her. She said twice, but it was more of a transition where 2 relationships overlapped.

    Not sure if that was really cheating since she was over with the previous relationship and was on the next one.

    Anyways, I have been more agressive with her, but not to rape.

    SHe's really passionate in her love making..... more than any gal I have been with.
     

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