I'm sure she will settle out of court. She can't pay a lawyer.
FIVE THOUSAND POSTS!!!
LAUREN SPARKS! THIS...IS YOUR LIFE!
Once upon a time Lauren was a very young, hot, skinny teenager who liked to hang out with douchebags.
You could bounce a quarter off that ass.
Men everywhere wanted to fuck her.
Lauren was very innocent and thought she would be pretty forever.
Then one day something unexpected happened...Lauren started to get OLDER.
A few months later...LAUREN DISCOVERED ALCOHOL
Soon she was on her way to drinking and partying almost every night in Dallas, looking for a very sexy 30s white balla and posting dumb shit online.
She continued to fraternize with douchebags, unaware they just wanted her pussy.
But she didnt care, she was having FUNNNNNNNNNN
Lauren drink, fucked, sucked and partied her way through life, working in sales and at mall kiosks. She thought she was invincible. Then, her body began to change...
All the drinking and 2 am taco bell started to catch up to lauren...
Her dresses started to groan in protest...
Her shorts complained of her expanding buttocks
At the pool, she was no longer the hottest bitch
Lauren was definitely getting chubby.
BUT SHE DIDNT CARE! SHE WAS HAVING FUNNNNN
Lauren's ass got fatter and fatter, and working out didnt help
But she could still hang out with Ron Jeremy!
SHE WAS FAT! AND HAVING FUNNNNNN
Then one day Lauren decided she wanted to be thin again.
It was time to move her big fat clubbing ass
Slowly she started to lose weight.
Oh, she still found time to party, for sure!
But it was working...she was going to snag a very sexy 30s white balla if she had to run 10 miles a day...
Then something wonderful happened!
LAUREN WASN'T SUCH A STUPID FAT SLUT ANYMORE!
SHE GOT A SWEET NEW JOB
Lauren's very sexy 30s white balla is coming any day now, she knows it.
Until he sweeps her off her feet, she's gonna keep partying, though.
SHE'S WAY TOO GOOD TO BE SINGLE, BROS!