LDRs... am I just going insane?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sirian, Nov 8, 2007.

  1. Sirian

    Sirian New Member

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    So my gf and I have been dating for about 4 months, the first month we lived in the same city and it was great, then I had to go to a different city about an hour and a half away to go to school. Since then we see each other at least once a week, usually more, talk and text everyday. It has also gotten pretty serious pretty fast, and both of us want to make it work. Needless to say, things are great.

    Now yesterday I had a pretty rough day because of school and missing her, etc, and we were texting back and forth and I was telling her about how I was in a bad mood for the day. Well she works at a resturant where I know some of the bar regulars and other guy servers want her. Usually it doesn't bother me, but for some reason it was bothering me last night. She told me she was going to call me when she got off work, but then I never hear from her and find out today that she went out after work with another one of the guy servers and 2 of the guy bar regulars to another bar and got drunk with them. She texted me throughout the night (once I was already asleep) telling me how much she loved me and how lucky she was, but she was still out with 3 other guys and she was the only girl.

    Am I just being too paranoid? I completely trust her and I have no reason not to, but it just bothers me.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    LDR's rarely work. They are especially hard when you were only local for a short time. I can't honestly believe you attempted one after only dating one month near each other. You barely know a person within a month of dating as it is. But anywho.

    LDR's rarely work because of lack of trust. Already you've been apprehensive about who she works with and if she chooses to go out with them. Here she is texting you throughout the night trying to reaffirm how much she cares about you and how you have nothing to worry about....yet you are still most likely angry about it. No girl would even bother trying to text you while in that situation unless they didn't care about the guys they were with. She's allowed to have a life. Even if those guys want her you have to believe that she wants nothing to do with them in that sense and lets any passes they throw roll over her.

    Is there an end to your LDR in sight? If not then good luck.
     
  3. Sirian

    Sirian New Member

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    yeah i forgot to mention we had worked with each other for like a year before we started officially dating, so we have known each other for a while. i do completely trust her, i think im just making myself paranoid. she has told me in various ways how much she cares about me.

    the hard part is, there really isnt a light at the end of the tunnel for us right now. ill be home, where she is and where my parents live, for a month during my christmas break, so thats is our light for right now. after that, hopefully i can get an internship back in my hometown for the next summer, that would be our next light. after that though, short of her moving up here to be with me and going back to school up here, i dont know when the next light will be.
     
  4. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Sounds like you're being completely paranoid.
     
  5. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    youre being paranoid, and if you accuse her of anything, I'm sure she wont appreciate it. I'm in a LDR as well, been making it work for about 3 years, though we were together for a year and a half before that. I know that the number one thing is trust, and any time my bf would get jealous that i went out with guys, I would only get defensive and resentful. She cared enough to text you throughout the night, and told you where she was and who she was with...if those guys made any kind of pass at her, she resisted it. She was probably just looking for a night out with friends. So really, dont make it into something its not-- women are perfectly capable of just being friends with guys. I myself have always been more comfortable with guys than girls anyway, so my bf had to learn to deal with that right away.

    About the "light at the end of the tunnel" thing, there are always things to look forward to. At least you two get to see each other every week-- there are many of us much worse off than that. Plus, winter break is what, 6 weeks away? then you'll have a month together. My SO and I live for those small breaks together, and the idea that one day I'll graduate (In another 4 1/2 years) and then we can be together whenever we want. Yes its a long road but can be worth it.
     
  6. ChuckStar

    ChuckStar New Member

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    thats why they dont work.. you have to be really easy going.. had a friend that lived across states from his girl friend ( she lived in north florida and he lived in south florida ) they dated for a year and then had to move apart, saw each toher once every few weeks. well they are marreid now and live together.. they lived apart for about 18ias months.. it can work if you really really want it to.. but rarly does
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    most guys that are around her want to bang her, but only a small percentage know how to make it happen

    its the guy who all the women want you have to worry about, not the random guys who can't get any
     
  8. Sephiroth13

    Sephiroth13 Beginning of the End

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    I too am in an LDR... granted tho we were together for 10 months before she moved further north for her job, we basically see each other every weekend. And I WHOLE heartidly agree that the entire relationship is centered around trust.

    My one year with her will be next week woohoo! anyway as soon as you start accusing she will leave you for someone else. Don't accuse anyone of anything, its really easy to do that when your so far away. Its even harder when you've only been dating her for 1 month and then the ldr starts. I know you said you've known her for 2 years but that doesn't really count because a relationship changes certain dynamics of people including the repore you and her have.

    Anywho the word for today is "trust".
     
  9. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    :ugh2: if she's in love with her boyfriend she's not gonna hook up with any guy, no matter who he is
     
  10. FoxyKrista

    FoxyKrista New Member

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    I'd have to agree that you were being just a bit paranoid. But you have to ask yourself, is it her you dont trust or those other guys? That could be the big silver lining on all of this, you may not be going insane you just might not trust the people she was with therefore you got antsy.
     
  11. KuntryFresh

    KuntryFresh Midwest

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