Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tubachris85x, Aug 20, 2007.
Hit me hard today for the first time tonight. Got a few more months of this too. Sucks big...
It gets easier. You develop new habits/routines. You're still getting used to the change, give it time.
I've been there. It sucks but it's doable if both people want it bad enough and put in the work. Good luck!
Yea, we are trying are hardest. It just sucks even worse when you see everyone out with their SO's and it just gets to ya
if you have an end date, it's so much better. leaving it open and ambiguous sucks a pair.
I feel your pain, my GF and I have been doing the LDR thing for 3 months now....but it ends in 4 days =]
Ew. Never doin one of those again.
i've been in one for about a year. it's been really tough at times, and i think i've got about 5 years to go.
Same here for college, but occasional visits
While I hate to place levels on something as crucial as trust, you almost need MORE trust in an LDR then in any other relationship because so much is out of your immediate control.
ldrs - do not like.
I realize that I don't post here much, but I'm currently having a bit of a fight with my boyfriend... classes resumed today so as of 2 days ago we began a long distance relationship.
I'm absolutely freaking out, and it seems that a.) it's not bothering him much, if at all and b.) he doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that I'm having a hard time....
I know it's only been 2 days, but what does time really matter? It's the feelings involved that should matter, and apparently don't.
It's been a shitty day.
I feel your pain.
to be honest we have just gotten out of an argument ourselves, this case, my fault. I used to have some serious anger issues when I was younger, but every now and then, some of it comes out and she catches some of it. We have been through ALOT, and I mean alot of things ive seen most relationships end in a heartbeat. We just always seem to work it out, fix it, and move on
I know most of OT believes for the most part that "all women are the same," but I honestly feel I got lucky to be with her. I will never feel the same for anyone as long as I live if we ever did break it off, I can swear my life on that.
eh, ill be joining the ldr's soon, personally im already kinda freaking out
so any LDR veterans out there that can give us some really good tips?
So far, ive only seen this one - setup end dates so we can have something to look forward too.
Keep constant contact. Call her/him at least once a day
I did it for about 8 months, you can do it!
tip: don't get jealous for stupid things and don't try to be controlling over the phone. it's super unattractive.
uhh that is actually the wrong thing to do.
call when you have something to say, not because "you didn't call her today"
trust me, theres only so many times you can answer "So babe, how is your day going?"
you have to understand that important shit doesnt happen everyday and, unless you want your relationship to feel boring, not to call everyday.
seriously this is the single best piece of advice i can give to LDR's
Talk when you WANT TO, not because you HAVE TO.
and explain it to your partner as well.
and if you absolutely feel you must talk to them everyday, just do a quick
"i just called to tell you i (insert however you feel about them) before i go to sleep"
keep it short.
my biggest mistake in my LDR was sitting on the phone just because we felt we needed to. It actually caused our break up.
Do things together while you're on the phone. My ex and I used to like to play scrabble (dorky I know but bear with me) so we found an online site and played each other. Talking on the phone all the time got so boring that it was nice to actually do something to spark conversation.
Try to plan out visits in advance so that you have that to look forward to. Saying goodbye is much harder when you don't know when you're going to see each other again. It's much easier to hug and walk away thinking, "Ok I'll see them in a month. It's only a month."
Be completely honest with one another because if trust becomes an issues, it's very hard to deal with long distance. Verbally reassure your SO often because you have to make up for the reassurance that normal in person affection would have.
Send each other mail/packages. I used to send my ex care packages when he had important exams (with junk food, magazines, pictures, etc) or if he got sick. When he said he his favorite tshirt got a hole in it, I overnighted him a new one from the same brand. We'd write each other letters about once a week or make each other things and send them. Getting mail is always fun and it shows you're thinking about the other person in their absence.
Plan surprise visits if possible. If you know you're able to take a long weekend, don't tell your SO and just randomly show up. Surprises like that make the hard times in between visits bearable.
Communicate. <---Most important thing you can possibly do. Don't assume that the other person knows what's going on. If you're supposed to call around a certain time, always call. If you're too busy to talk, send a text letting them know, don't leave them waiting.
Good luck! Just remember, it gets easier.
Damn good advice!
Yea, I only said to keep constant communication, I guess, cause I do, either calling or messenger online. I like talking to her, so I dont feel obligated. Before moving for college, we already have lived about an hour away, and had to have the parents drive, when they felt like taking us. So we got used to talking more then actually seeing each other..
LDRs suck ass. Did one for about 2 years. It got to a point where we would fight when we were together and be good when we were apart.
Did one. It fucking sucked and said I would never do it again.
In one again now
Any links to some of those kind of sites? I know she would be into that kind of thing. In the meantime, I need to find a 2 year aniv. gift
i think you should want to talk every day, and share things that happened to you every day.
your problem wasn't that you were calling because you had to, it was that you no longer wanted to call.
how are you telling me what MY problem was?
of course i wanted to call. but honestly there wasnt anything going on in my day that was any different than the last, on the occasion that there was I'd totally be excited to call and tell her. I loved hearing her voice after a long days work, but we would just sit on the phone and say nothing because we had nothing to say.
and after a few months we had already discussed pretty much everything there was to discuss between us.
we didnt really have any friends in common so its not like we could talk about stuff that happened to friends etc. we were both leading pretty boring lives at the time, now I think i'd have more to talk about on a daily basis, but back then i lived with my parents, went to school all day (9am-9pm) and came home and talked to her. We were happy when we saw eachother (once every few weeks) but were miserable apart.
This is the site we used to play scrabble: http://www.isc.ro/
You register a name and then download it to your comp. Then you both sign on where ever you are and can play each other.
I'm sure there are similar sites for other games and such.
If you want a cool anniversary gift, check out www.redenvelope.com. They've got some unique stuff in case you looking for something other than a cookie cutter piece of jewelry from a mall store. The price range and types of gifts varies a lot so I'd take a look if I were you.