SPORTS LOL @ Tom Lawlor

Hillary

fukc yaeh. ew waitled long enough. nujgses of hill
Dec 12, 2007
2,486
Arkansaw
Excerpts from his TUF Blogs at www.sportsline.com/mmaboxing :

Krystof Sosy..uhhh...scary Polish guy vs. Mike Stewart.
Let me preface this by saying Krystof is a scary looking guy. Probably the prototype for what an MMA fighter would look like.

Junie Browning vs. Jose Aguilar.
Junie is from Kentucky. I've never been, but all stereotypes of the state were reassured by his accent and his comments. I digress however, as any state that brands itself as "KY" is good in my book. Aguilar tells us he belongs with the likes of Hitler, Napolean, Alexander,etc. Dog. Bro.

Eliot Marshall vs. Karn Gregorian
Eliot is a bjj black belt from Colorado. Karn is best remembered for his starring role on Sesame Street as "The Count".

We get an opening montage of why some are here to fight. Ryan Bader is here because he wants to advance his career. Junie Browning is here because he was raised poor, and apparently being poor leads to being tough. My thought is that this was his one chance to drink something besides bourbon, and Junie knew there would be a full liquor cabinet. Kryzstzof is here to offer everyone steak.

After the first few fights, many people were banged up. Brian McLaughlin and Karn “The Count” Gregorian were the two most notable. Keeping up with the tradition that Karn set on Sesame Street years ago, he was sporting TWO black eyes after his THREE round fight, giving him ONE fracture in his nose.

Big Ant Rod Min Nog chooses Ryan B”r”ader first for his team. Nog thinks that Bader might be the champ, so I will take his advice and watch and see. Swerve? I think so. Mir had been telling Big Nog that he was not going to pick Vinny Magalhaes because a) Vinny was Brazilian and b)Nog was Vinny’s MMA hero. Well Big Nog took it to heart and didn’t choose Vinny, throwing chivalry aside, Frank decided to pick Vinny with pick #2.

Shane Nelson wonders huh, who they will bring back huh as the lightweight guy huh, no ways huh? And in walks the replacement……”The Emaciated Beaver” Rolando Delgado himself! Rolando walks in and let’s us know that the Westside is the best-side by throwing up gang signals. I remember being in the hot-tub when Rolando showed up and thinking “Who the hell is that?” I also remember walking around 15 minutes later and thinking “What the hell is that?”, mostly because Rolando was standing sideways and I couldn’t decipher whether he was a human being or one if someone has misplaced one of the bamboo sticks that served as decoration in the house.

I thought the force was with me and I could be the Tom Skywalker to Ryan’s “Darth” Bader, but as I threw a Jabba the Hut sized punch at his head he threw me to the ground as if I was Princess Leia. Bader controlled me from on top a little more until….

Honestly, I don’t remember. Even after watching the fight I have a few theories as to what happened:

a) Really…Bader is a good looking guy. I am a frequent visitor of MatBattle.com and thought that this was a great way to test out if I had what it takes to be featured on that site. A combination of being away from females for a week, and Bader’s studliness may have caused me to get a slight erection…causing the blood to shift from my head to my genitals, and Bader threw a phantom punch. It didn’t really hit me, but the blood loss made me pass out, or….

b) Bader hit me so hard that I went unconscious.

Oh yeah, I also had contracted Dengue Fever before the fight.
 

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