CREW LOLYERS. Assemble.

[JohnnyBeagle]

I started at $55k + commission at my first real lolyering job in Los Angeles so that first check was definitely not tweet worthy

 

[Buzz Killington]

I started at $55k + commission at my first real lolyering job in Los Angeles so that first check was definitely not tweet worthy

stay safe
I remember my first biglaw paycheck, I walked right downstairs and bought myself some designer sunglasses What an ass

 

[jaspirr]

stay safe
I remember my first biglaw paycheck, I walked right downstairs and bought myself some designer sunglasses What an ass

i was admitted to the bar in December and bought a Corvette by January
thought i had unlimited money

 

[legal eagle]

billing sunday ftw

 

[aloe]

God damn it.

He’s charging you hours just to send out your bills

 

[legal eagle]

He’s charging you hours just to send out your bills

Never. That is unethical.

 

[aloe]

Never. That is unethical.

Always Be Billing

 

[legal eagle]

oh man

i just GUTTED the CEO of the opposing party in his second deposition (court-ordered after I moved to compel)

the shit that came out of his mouth was GOLD

 

[Buzz Killington]

oh man

i just GUTTED the CEO of the opposing party in his second deposition (court-ordered after I moved to compel)

the shit that came out of his mouth was GOLD

Did you stroke your chin and say AH HA?

 

[legal eagle]

Did you stroke your chin and say AH HA?

opposing counsel put his head in his hands at one point and did a icard:

"Sir, one of your claims in this lawsuit is that my client owes you money for unpaid invoices."

"Yes."

"You just told me that it's quite possible that a number of the invoices we just looked at may not have been sent to my client."

"Yeah. You know, sometimes people don't do their jobs. That's why I had to fire [NAME]."

"So how is my client supposed to know what to pay you if they never receive an invoice?"

"That's a good question. I guess they wouldn't know."

wtf

 

[legal eagle]

and that's just the tip of the iceberg

during a break the court reporter asked me how this company stays in business because they clearly don't know how to send bills and can't even track what they ship

lol

 

[Buzz Killington]

I worked Saturday and Sunday, I am teh tired

 

[legal eagle]

he is trying to tack on 18% interest as a "late fee" to $100k+ invoices that he never sent to us

some of them for shit we didn't ORDER, and some of it for shit we never RECEIVED

"There is no written agreement that obligates my client to pay a late fee for invoices, correct?"

"Yes. It's just how we do this in the industry."

"Right...so how did you come up with these interest charges?"

"I went on Google."

this guy runs an eight-figure manufacturing company for fuck's sake

 

[i killed tupac]

he is trying to tack on 18% interest as a "late fee" to $100k+ invoices that he never sent to us

some of them for shit we didn't ORDER, and some of it for shit we never RECEIVED

"There is no written agreement that obligates my client to pay a late fee for invoices, correct?"

"Yes. It's just how we do this in the industry."

"Right...so how did you come up with these interest charges?"

"I went on Google."

this guy runs an eight-figure manufacturing company for fuck's sake

I am also a Google Law School grad

 

[Buzz Killington]

he is trying to tack on 18% interest as a "late fee" to $100k+ invoices that he never sent to us

some of them for shit we didn't ORDER, and some of it for shit we never RECEIVED

"There is no written agreement that obligates my client to pay a late fee for invoices, correct?"

"Yes. It's just how we do this in the industry."

"Right...so how did you come up with these interest charges?"

"I went on Google."

this guy runs an eight-figure manufacturing company for fuck's sake

So you're settling

 

[cantankerously]

Like four of my good friends are attorneys - in varying fields - and everyday, after hearing them talk about their jobs, am so glad I went down a different path.

 

[legal eagle]

So you're settling

Nah

Fuck it let’s try it

 

[i killed tupac]

Nah

Fuck it let’s try it

loser touches wieners, double or nothing clause

 

[TCMS]

he is trying to tack on 18% interest as a "late fee" to $100k+ invoices that he never sent to us

some of them for shit we didn't ORDER, and some of it for shit we never RECEIVED

"There is no written agreement that obligates my client to pay a late fee for invoices, correct?"

"Yes. It's just how we do this in the industry."

"Right...so how did you come up with these interest charges?"

"I went on Google."

this guy runs an eight-figure manufacturing company for fuck's sake

Love it.

 

[Korea]

i was admitted to the bar in December and bought a Corvette by January
thought i had unlimited money

I leased a $58k 335i after I passed the bar, before I even started my first lolyer job.

Now I’m married and drive a Volvo station wagon.

 

[Buzz Killington]

I miss my old secretary. She anticipated everything I needed, did my bills without error, and was great.

I am constantly having bill stress now and I am fucking tired of it.

 

[Buzz Killington]

Do I pay for one of those odious Who's Who Legal things? I got "nominated", which I know is a joke, but it's good for SEO I think

 

[legal eagle]

Do I pay for one of those odious Who's Who Legal things? I got "nominated", which I know is a joke, but it's good for SEO I think

I made that mistake once--Top Litigator or some shit. Waste of money. The only "awards" I have found that have some legitimacy are Super Lawyers, Martindale-Hubbell, Best Lawyers, and any local peer-nominated/reviewed publications (for us here, it's D Magazine)

 

[Buzz Killington]

I made that mistake once--Top Litigator or some shit. Waste of money. The only "awards" I have found that have some legitimacy are Super Lawyers, Martindale-Hubbell, Best Lawyers, and any local peer-nominated/reviewed publications (for us here, it's D Magazine)

Oh I know it's garbage, I am just wondering how it impacts my search rankings.

Waiting for Chambers in the spring

 

[legal eagle]

Oh I know it's garbage, I am just wondering how it impacts my search rankings.

Waiting for Chambers in the spring

forgot that one, it's good too