Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Anticipate, May 30, 2007.
Not any point to this thread, really. Just that I feel lonely.
I know the feeling...
Welcome to the club, fellow Dec 2006. I have no real friends that I hang out with.
Having a gf would be a good move for me I think.
All local friends moved away for college.
Yes, a bf for me would be good. But I have no idea how to "get" a boyfriend. Lots of guys around, but none of them ever seem interested in me.
How is it possible to have NO friends are you really shy? or just a loner? Find a hobby get involved in a group or something. Why arent guys interested in you? This is just a wild guess but girls with not many friends tend to be clingy, insecure and too dependent on a man, most guys aren't into that.
You have to show a little interest as well. Guys don't play games.
I don't have NO friends, that's not what I said. I have a couple of friends, but they're unreliable, and every time I make a new friend, she gets a boyfriend and stops being available to hang out.
The hobby or group sounds good, I will have to think more about groups that I can join.
You may be right about the clingy and insecure thing. What do you think I can do about that?
I don't play games either. If I did, don't you think I would have a bf by now?
How can I show my interest?
I always think if I were the guy, would I be interested in me? And then I think, there are so many girls so much better than me, why would he be interested in me? I guess you could say I suffer from low self-esteem.
I read a few of your other posts you sound very insecure and unsure about yourselfl why is that do you think you're unattractive or is it other issues? I never saw myself as a "hot guy" or anything but a bit of confidence and a sense of humor can take you a long way just have to lighten up a little I'm sure guys like you but you probably scare them away b/c we can tell when you are insecure and clingy. Don't try so hard and come across so strong let the guy chase you.
And THAT my dear, is how you get and keep a bf. You seem to have already understood a core issue with yourself. How about you work on that?
The bf thing will miraculously take care of itself, once you focus on your core issue.
First things first.
You don't get a boyfriend (or girlfriend) by putting up a sign saying "I WANT A BOYFRIEND" Well, it might work for girls, but you would attract the wrong sort of boy who wouldn't be good for you
No, you do it, by becoming someone that other people find pleasant and fun to be around. That's how you "get" friends, how you "get" a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Not by going out and somehow directly "getting" them, as if you were going to the market and purchasing produce.
No you get it by focusing on yourself, first.
You already know what needs work on, in yourself. Go to it.
There's plenty of threads in this forum about low self-esteem. Search, then ask. We're all here for you. Good luck.
Yes, you seem you to know what you're talking about. By the way, my search feature does not work, since I don't have a sub (I can't buy one right now, I'm pretty broke). Care to link me to any self esteem threads?
where ya from, Ill date ya
i know the feeling since i moved to arizona i havnt had any friends
I feel ya on this one. Half of my existence is spent seemingly alone, but it's almost a matter of perception. There are people and places out there just waiting for you if you want it. Try myspace? It's not a cure-all for lonliness, but it will link you to people and activities going on.
NY. Thanks for the offer, but do you look like your avvie?
stop being so picky
haha no much worse....where in NY are you?? I live in CT
Being a hermit isn't a good thing. Your basically letting all kinds of wonderfull events and people pass by in your life, what you should do is grab 'the moment of now' to give your life a difference.
Lonelyness is a harsh issue that we impose on ourselves because we want to seclude ourselves from the outside world that's hurting us. You need to be like a castle gate closing yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events
I had a dream one time , during that period of my life i was tremendously lonely. In that dream i confronted my uncle with that lonelyness , and he said " if you don't want to be lonely, then you have to step towards the people"
That was the Best darn advice id ever had in a dream.
And simular counts for you, if you don't want to be lonely then you have to step towards the people.
ok , onto your self-esteem issue.
YOU are the one who decides wether you are a loser or not!
Who determines the value of your life: YOU do!
You are your own judge,jury and executor, if you condemned yourself into being a loser, then that's what you are. And because you are your own judge, only you can set yourself free from that self imposed condemnation. Set yourself free, and re-establish your self worth to what it is, namely equal to all others. Don't put yourself below others, but also don't put yourself above others. For now lift yourself up, and say to yourself 'what others can do, i can do also' this because
The American dream is the freedom to choose your own path. And that anyone who is willing can do it. Only fools have clouded and misconstrued it as being materialistic. When the idea was first conceived, people knew that incredibly hard work comes with such ideals, but people also knew that with enough work, just about any path can be hewn through the bushes, bramble, & jungle of life. But hey, people now don't seem to want freedom as much as they want comfort. They're more than happy to demand others rights be violated in order to have instituionalized comfort.
The beauty of freedom is intrinsic. No, there may not be someone to take care of you all the time, but there's also not going to be someone telling you what you can, can't, or must do. I'd wager that most of the greatest people in human history are the people who BUSTED THEIR ASSES to achieve what they wanted to achieve. At the same time, some of the happiest people have been those who lived the simplest lives.
Stop being your own worst enemy, and consider yourself valuable. This is needed for you to move on in life. Establish your own self worth by condemning yourself that your worth it. What is needed in life is not a feeling of being worthless, nothing can grow from that. Negative thoughts can lead to indescribable suffering ,so think positive.
So true D.E. And life works in two ways, you can either go out and seek a quality in the world or you can invest in yourself so much that you become attractive and have people seek you out.
i can tell you from my POV, i would much rather have a girl show interest in me, than me having to seek someone who is not sure of themself. it was like that for me a long time ago, when i met my current wife, she showed a great deal of interest in me and i in return showed her the same. like everyone says, just go out and try new things, go to the mall and walk around, go to the gym, the park, the super market LOL