SRS long story: close friend dealing with addiction

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Milin, Apr 8, 2005.

  1. Milin

    Milin It's Terminal.

    Nov 13, 2001
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    Bay Area CA
    I'll post this from another site where I sought advice.

    My good friend up here is in deep shit. He's always been a pothead. I never had a problem with it because he was always responsible with using it when I first met him and even though I didn't participate in it, it was an occasional thing he did.

    He has had a gf now for 1 year and 6 months. She was against his smoking because it started to get bad. He began to smoke more and more often and was unable to function without it. He has been on anti depressants now and xanax for panic attacks and smokes all the time on top of this. At first it was once every few months. Then every couple of weeks. Then every few days. Then every day. Now it is at least 4 times a day.

    He is not your casual smoker. Most of my potheaded friends will smoke a little and chill. When I say he smokes 4 times a day I mean that he gets utterly blazed and can't even stand up sometimes.

    Before smoking, he would do this with alchohol. I can't invite him over to my house anymore because if I do and there is alchohol around we'll of course have some and he'll go through the entire bottle.

    Recently he tried cocaine.

    He also pops pills (adderall included) all the time whenever he feels bad or needs to study or anything and goes from doctor to doctor until he finds one that will prescribe him what he wants. He has asked me multiple times to somehow get my dad to prescribe him narcotics or adderall.

    you can see where this is going.

    He has started to verbally abuse his girlfriend, forces her to do all his housework (and while it may be funny to joke about "bitch go make me a sandwhich" he really does this and threatens her if she disobeys him)

    his dad was a drug addict and alchoholic and reformed and won't touch any of the stuff and is one of the most stand up guys I have ever met in my entire life.

    I'm really good friends with him. He was my best friend until he stayed away from me since I can look at him and tell if he has drank or been stoned in the past week (it's all about the eyes. It's something I've always been good at: reading people like a book)

    He's been trying to hide all his drug use from his girlfriend and has resorted to lying and verbally mistreating her when she does find out about it.

    She came over crying to Sarah and I the other night because he had been verbally abusive again and still keeps going back to him, so she is no help whatsoever.
    She is unaware of his cocaine use.

    Recently he sent a good friend of mine to buy him some weed and my friend got caught with a pound of it and his money. My friend is going to jail.

    How much longer do I have to watch my friend ruin his life and the lives of other close friends around me.

    I have abstained from the drug lifestyle and he is drifting further and further into it.

    I want to help him before it is too late and he kills himself doing drugs on top of pills and coke, mixing all these things together.


    here's the update: his girlfriend comes crying that she doesn't know why he is treating her so differently lately. :eek4: she doesn't want to believe he gets high behind her back all the time. we tell her that he's tryed cocaine too and steals it from his roommate.

    my girlfriend (who is very close with his girlfriend) let him know all this stuff since he is a pathological liar and a VERY good one (never gets caught).

    Tonight I get 5-6 phone calls from his burnout friend threatening to kick my ass over some song lyrics I wrote in my profile supposedly (and admittedly partially) about my ex friend.
    Now he calls me back and tells me he knows people and to watch my back and that my girlfriend is going to "get it" next time shes alone on campus.

    It seems like it wasn't worth it to care about my friend at all, and that any help I have tried to give him has turned into an attempt to villify myself.

    Is there anything I can do and am I possibly in danger or is it all just drugs talking?

    I'd like for him to get help and for her to get out of this abusive relationship (she keeps getting into abusive relationships).
  2. TucsonTerror

    TucsonTerror OT Supporter

    Jan 29, 2005
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    Tucson, AZ USA
    Get his family involved with an intervention and get him into a rehab clinic. If they care about him and want to help, they'll be down for it.
  3. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

    Jun 3, 2004
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    It doesn't sound like your friend is going to stop until he goes to jail. I'm not sure how it works where your from, but after he gets out he may be mandated to go to 12-step meetings, maybe he's got a chance then.

    There's really not much you can do for him, but stay away from him and don't let him take advantage of you. It's harsh, but true, same goes for his girlfriend, but you can't tell her what to do either. The best thing you could do is to hit up a Narc-Anon or Al-Anon meeting, they are pretty much experts for people dealing with friends/family in addiction. Here are the links to each of their websites, where you should be able to locate a meeting in your area.

    You can also IM me if you want, I am one of the moderators for Road To Recovery. You may want to read up in R2R a bit, to learn a little bit about addiction yourself, but the best thing to do would be to go to Al-Anon or Narc-Anon.
  4. Crazie

    Crazie New Member

    Apr 9, 2005
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    Well man here is how I see it. They can go to rehab they can have people supporting them as you are doing, but the sad fact is the only way who is going to make them stop is them. And if the guy doesn't have the desire to stop himself than he isn't going to stop. Something is going to have to happen to make him step back and say whoa! fuck this! or else he isn't going to stop. But be a good friend but don't help him indulge in the activities he's partaking in, and if he is doing that shit stay away from him.
  5. haha

    haha Guest

    Forget your friend. He's a loser. If he has to resort to threatening you or your girlfriend, I say kick his fucking ass.

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