SRS Love at first site? Yes/no. Noob here, sorry.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by darruss, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. darruss

    darruss New Member

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    So, generally, people who have experienced love at first site believe in it. Those who haven't just don't understand. I have. I was 18, so was he. We hung out for about a month. He was going through everything a person shouldn't have to go through, especially at eighteen. I got pregnant. Now, we are 35 and have a wonderful 16 year old daughter. We have been seeing each other for the past five years on and off. We took a year off and got back together around seven months ago. I know this sounds stoopid, but I really think things are different this time around. He says he's bipolar, not so sure cuz I never see the manic side.

    The question. Do you think it's possible to see someone for the first time and know they are the 80% for you (80% references, um, one of those Tyler Perry type movies I think it was Why Did I Get Married, never watched, love the concept.) Most of us can eliminate them as potentials at site for one reason or another. Has anyone just looked at someone and knew they would ultimately get along?
     
  2. darruss

    darruss New Member

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    THAT'S what I'm talking about.
     
  3. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    Personally.. I think it's kind of shallow. You are really just feeling lust when you look at someone and feel attracted to them. You know nothing about this person except their physical appearence. How do you know they are trustworthy? A good match for you, with similar interests? You can't really know someone just from a glance.

    In other words, no, I don't believe in love at first sight. Looks are just one half of the package, what about personality?
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You don't love someone until you know them.
    You don't know someone from first sight.

    What's stupid is a 35 year old spelling stupid "stoopid."
     
  5. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    I don't believe in love at first sight (especially at 18), but I do believe in lust at first sight : /
     
  6. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    huh?

    lol
     
  7. darruss

    darruss New Member

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    mm, just feel like a decent word for plum not right stupid
    Did I use college professor english this time? How was the punctuation?
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2009
  8. darruss

    darruss New Member

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    maybe, but I've been much more attracted to other people. It wasn't looks alone. Saw this person and thought "oh shit." Kind of an instant recognition. And not "oh shit" in a good way. More like "oh shit this person will have the ability to hurt me." Never thought love at first sight was such a great thing actually. It's scary.
     
  9. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I remember seeing my husband and something went ding in my head. I looked at him and thought "There is something about him". It wasn't love at first site, but it was definitely something more than the normal "Oh he's alright". It was definitely something special and something that made me chase him down and make it work
    Been together nearly 7 and a half years!
     
  10. prototism

    prototism Guest

    I may be in on this now, but others may disagree.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :mamoru:
     
  12. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    Have any males posted in here?
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Bi-polar doesn't necessarily mean the person has hypermanic episodes that are noticeable. A diagnosis of Bi-polar II can come with episodes in which the individual is considered hypomanic (meaning low mania) and is easily confused by the lay person as hyper-functional, or seemingly getting things done at an amplified pace, is upbeat, positive, but not necessarily "abnormal."

    It's easy to assume the Bipolar patient just had a coffee or caffinated beverage and now they're productive. Lay people wouldn't call them irrational or acting unusual, when the reality is they're experiencing a mood change that is abnormal for "them."

    Major depressive behavior is more common with "hypomania" periods, under the Bipolar II diagnosis.
     
  14. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Additional note: You probably should read up on whatever condition he has so as not to assume you already know the facts. It might help you to understand his situation, thus making it more tolerable to some degree.
     
  15. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I believe in Lust at first site, which can be mistaken for love at first site, which can develop into love.
     
  16. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    absolutely Sarah Palin knew Todd for less than 6 months when they headed down to the courthouse and the day she was announced as McCain's running mate was thier 20th anniversary so def. anythings possible
     
  17. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Infatuation at 1st sight.
     
  18. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i don't agree with the love at first site...it's either luse or like jmezz said, infatuation or lust. you have to truly know a person to love them.
    you may have that feeling of "oh he's the one for me" or you may feel something at first, but it's not love
     
  19. MattThom01

    MattThom01 Active Member

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    OK, to put this logically.

    Agree with beer, you can't truly LOVE someone until you know them...and that takes time.

    It would be a fucking awesome thing if we could truly know a person on sight alone...but since we can't, true "love at first sight" can't exist.

    Just like everything else...people remember the events that support irrational claims, and forget all the events that do not support them.

    You can't know a person on sight/looks alone.

    Hell, you can't even know a person on "first time spent together" alone, but you can know enough (ie this person is unattractive/undesirable to me for whatever reason).
     
  20. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

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    Christ I hate sayings like "true love" and "love at first sight." What a load of shit that is.
     
  21. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    no. how do you get that from our posts :ugh:

    you can say in retrospect it is. but when you first meet someone you don't say "i love him/her"

    ain't no way
     
  22. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    Me too. There are so many different degrees of love and different kinds that the word 'love' itself get used in weird contexts... I love my parents, I love my dog, and I love my gf; all different kinds of love.

    Anyone, it seems I agree with most people here... good :mamoru:
     
  23. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    This is an easy question to answer. The word "love" is personal, and a closed concept. Each person has a defined version if what love is and what love isn't, therefore making love impossible by human reason, to consistently define so as to be agreed upon by all human beings.

    Lust, and infatuation, as described by some here is actually defined as conditions of Love, or stages of love which begin immediately upon a perceptual contact. In other words, two individuals may "see," "hear," "feel, touch,", imagine/think, or "even taste or smell in rare cases. Biologically, and psychologically, different theories exist maintaining that love is a state which begins, much like conception, while others content that love is more like "birth,"

    There are still others who believe in love from a religious perspective, or a functional perspective for survival, that of family, friends, or anyone in which a bond begins, or passes alone a continuum.

    Love for some is what they consider "intimacy" based on the stages of love cultivated by some laymen, psychologists, biologists, cultures, or other individuals who think that "knowing" an individual to a level within the relationship, must be compatible or bonded in some intimate form (notice the word intimate)

    Love is yet still defined by others to be "absolute" or "Unconditional." While others believe there to be a dichotomy, including among scientists who have discovered the chemistry which encapsulates love. Psychologists believe that "unconditional love can be applied to any human being by another simply by the one "loving" simply acknowledging the "being" of the other. And example of this is how parents often respond to a child, even if that child does "evil, or what we define as justifiable, or tragic." They demonstrate unconditional love (not all do), and love simply because they came from them, are of them, and they "exist."

    Along the continuum of what many people define love to be, are people who see love as "conceived" or -- love at first "sight", which actually means first interaction or experience. A blind man for example can not "love" at first site, but rather may "hear, or touch" a woman's face and immediately the process biologically or psychologically begins.

    There are others who believe commitment must be present in order for one to "love" another, and vice versa. We have seen that here on the forum when people claim "If you really loved her, you wouldn't think about other women, or be in love with another woman at the same time."

    Yet, we also hear some claim "passion" is required, or that yearning and "drive" to be close, or with the other, whether spiritually or otherwise proximal that creates an actual physical response in the on experiencing passion -- sexual arousal, and the behavior which follows or is associated including changing of skin color (flushing) breathing, increased rate of the heart.

    Others claim affection, which is the same as passionate love without the associated physical response.

    I suggest then, a humanistic definition, that love is literally in the "perception" of another, independent of all other attempts to define, or "rationalize" or "persuade" or in anyway suggest otherwise.

    The combined context of all currently known formats of love define love as existing from the moment of conception (Experiencing in any form, even through 1's and 0's over a computer." all the way through the spiritual companionship one partner may feel after the other has died.

    Science, understanding to the very atom of chemistry dictating Love in human beings, all the way through the Love of the God. We can "measure" the response in various parts of the brain for all varieties as to when a human being is experiencing love. When carefully scrutinized my circular position is adaptable to any format or definition, because all varieties of love we perceive are "relative" -- but all varieties of love we can also "imagine" in relationship to "anything" -- including God, the Universe, Nature, or an animal can be absolute.

    Fundamentally, science tells us that love is both, or at least provides a good deal of evidence.

    Oh, and by now you've realized that I lied in my first sentence, suckers. It's not easy, but it is a form of truth, just as each of your opinions is your version of the truth. And they are always subject to change as new information is integrated into your human experience.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2009
  24. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    that's not being sensitive, it's me justifying why it can't be
    you could have used the word retrospect and saved this thread a few posts
     
  25. lauren

    lauren OT Supporter

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    seriously? really now?
     

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