Inspired by recent threads, I felt the need to directly state this. Sometimes some women will have the desire to do things which aren't necessarily "cool" in a relationship. Things which make you feel uncomfortable and you don't think should be happening, but when you bring it up to your gf, she tells you "don't be so insecure." That line is manipulation. By telling you to "not be so insecure," she's betting that you will think "oh crap! I don't want to be insecure! My gf will be less attracted to me if I'm insecure! I probably am just being insecure. Ok, you know what? I'm just gonna let her do this thing then because she's right, I am being insecure and that's not cool." And then she has just successfully manipulated you into allowing her to do something she probably shouldn't be doing in the first place. Every person is different and has different ideas about what should and shouldn't fly in a relationship. Obviously you need to find a SO who has the same values as you in this regard. But just be on the lookout for this response from your gf in the event she wants to do something that makes you uncomfortable, such as putting on a microskirt and going clubbing with her ex and then crashing at his place because she was "too drunk to come home." You: Baby, I don't like you getting all hooched out and going clubbing with your ex and then crashing at his place Her: Don't be so insecure. Recognize this for the red flag it is.