A Para rescue, SEAL and Marine are sitting at a hotel bar drinking and bragging about who's the greatest when the para rescue says "tell you what. see that blonde girl over there? I bet you $100 that I can talk her into going up stairs with me." The other two give him a "what ever flyboy, you're on." They lay their money down and the para rescue goes over, chats for a bit, and sure enough he gets the girl to go up stairs with him. an hour later flyboy comes back down and the SEAL gives him and the marine a new proposition: "See those two girls over there in the corner? I bet double or nothing I can get both of them to go up stairs with me." The marine and para rescue take the bet, so the SEAL walks over, starts chatting with them, lifts up his shirt to show his trident tatoo and the girls jump in his arms and he carries them both up stairs. After the SEAL comes back down the marine is really sweating. He tells them "tripple or nothing, I bet I can get those 3 girls upstairs with me." the other two laugh and take the bet. The marine goes over and they can see he's struggling, but eventually the 3 girls get up and follow him upstairs. about 5 minutes later a loud crash resounds throughout the building, walls start shaking glass and mirrors breaking, and the sound of a wild fight can be hear from the marine's room. the marine stumbles out all bloody, bruised and beat up, no sign of the three girls. the other two ask "what the hell just happened?" the marine says "I don't know, but as soon as I got them naked some crazy bastard stole the money, beat me up, grabbed the girls and jumped out the window shouting "One thousand, Two thousand, Three thousand, Four thousand!" IBonlyairbornepeepsgetit IBcliffs There's a Ranger in the middle of the gulf stuck in a canoe with a paddle, delerious to the point where all he can do is paddle while he chants "ranger.... ranger.... ranger..." over and over again. Satan takes notice and goes up to god and says "I bet this mans soul that I can break him down. let me do just one thing, let me take away half his brain." God, knowing that a ranger is a really tough nut to crack takes the bet. So Satan takes away half the ranger's brain and the ranger pauses a moment, but then he takes notice of his surroundings and begins paddling again saying "ranger... ranger... ranger... " Infuriated, Satan goes back up to god and says "I think I can still break him. let me take away 1/4 of his brain." God, still confident in the hardiness of the ranger accepts the new bet. When Satan takes away half the ranger's brain he pauses again, looks around all confused, but then he notices the paddle in his hand and begins paddling again chanting "ranger... ranger... ranger..." Well now satan's really pissed off since he doesn't want to lose the bet, and asks god for one more try, only this time taking away all of the ranger's brain. God accepts being amused at the whole situation. The ranger is rowing away, chanting "ranger... ranger... ranger..." when Satan takes away all the rest of his brain. He pauses for a moment and then begins rowing, shouting: "From the Halls of Montezuma To the Shores of Tripoli; We fight our country's battles In the air, on land and sea; First to fight for right and freedom And to keep our honor clean; We are proud to claim the title of United States Marine. "