I always find myself in the same position anywhere from a week to a couple days before I get paid. Worrying, wondering, how I'm going to put gas in my car to drive the 80 miles round trip to my job. Bearing the pain in my stomach when I don't eat, or the embarrassment of having to turn down an enjoyable event with friends because I'm broke. I don't mean broke, like, got a little saved up, as a crutch, I mean broke, like intentionally overdrafted my bank account because I had to fill my gas tank. Not a cent to my name at 23 years old. Absolutely horrible with my money. I'm not in debt (anymore), and I don't have a car payment. I live on my own, with a room-mate, the bills get split, and as far as living expenses go I am within my means. I've never really saved a single penny of my money since I got my first job at 16. Every dollar that has come into my posession has been spent, blown, on nothing. Nothing to show for it. The feeling of knowing I am incapable of providing for myself in case of an emergency (parents paid $1700 to put a new motor in my car a couple months ago, for example) haunts me. I'm supposed to be moving at the end of October into a place by myself, 1B/1BR, and have been mindful of the fact that I'm going to need a pretty hefty amount of money available to pay for deposits and other things that will be required of me when I move. I don't even have any fucking furniture to call my own. Yet, here I sit, the day before I get paid again, almost a hundred dollars in the hole, wondering if the gas in my car is going to be enough to get me home today. And it's all reminiscent of the last week I got paid. I'm trapped in an irresponsible and never-ending cycle. I'm not rich, I'm also not bottom of the barrel. I'm single; no dependants. Tomorrow is the day I get to try it all over again. Wake up feeling happy when I check my balance online, telling myself it's time to really dig in and get some money saved so that I'm not begging my parents for mercy when it's time to move. This week I'm actually in an even better position to save some, after getting a check with a nice chunk of overtime on it. What's left after my bills would be plenty for any normal person in my position to live off of. I know I have to change things, and this is my chance...but I still sit here questioning myself. I don't expect any advice I haven't already been given. I just wanted to get this out.