My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years. I've always loved him very much, and up until last night, I thought that he loved me too. We always said that we'd tell each other everything, and that we'd never lie to each other. I kept that end of the promise... he didn't. Basically, here's the issue. He lied to me about trying a drug. Let me say right now that I'm not upset about the drug, but I'm upset that he lied to me for nearly a year. I found out last night not through him, but through his friend who assumed that I knew. I don't understand how he could lie to me so easily after he promised that he never would. He lied to me repeatedly, hoping that I'd never find out. I asked him why, and he said that he lied so that I wouldn't freak out at him. Well this leaves me hanging. What else has he lied to me about? What else does he hide from me because he thinks that he will upset me? Does he cheat on me? Do I know him at all. I'm actually quite scared that I believed him for so long. I gave him my absolute trust, and I was naiive not to think that he was lying to me. I thought that he loved and respected me too much, but I guess that he doesn't. I also just spent a large amount of money on him and his friends for his birthday. It's really hard for me to make that money because I am a full time college student at a very competitive/difficult school. How could he keep taking from me, knowing that he was lying to me? He got me nothing for my birthday. Point is, how could he claim to love me, knowing that he was both lying and hiding things to me? I feel miserable beyond words, and I don't know how to approach him. I can't call him because he lost his cell phone and won't get a new one, and he will not come on AIM. I hate myself for believing his lies that he loves me and that I could trust him. I'm not even mad at him. I just hate myself.