SRS moved across the country - feeling it was a mistake

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by unigel, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    I went to culinary school in NYC and moved to cali after I graduated for a job.

    I dont know anyone here and I am feeling REALLY overwhelmed. I am making barely any money (I dont know if Ill be able to survive actually) and I am feeling like maybe this was a big mistake

    Im not really sure what to do. everyone says to stick it out for a little while and see how I feel in a month and it will get better, but I just have a feeling in my gut that is wont

    I am usually a pessimist, but this is beyond me just being negative. Im not sure if its worth staying here or going home and looking for a job somewhere I have a support system and will be happy.
     
  2. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I've traveled and moved around a lot and believe me, that feeling of wanting to go back home goes away after a few months. At least you share a similar culture and language. I'd stick it out for another 6 months or so and then move back if you want. You will always have that safety net of friends and family back home to go to.

    In the meantime go out and enjoy nature. Find some hills to climb or a beach or something. Volunteer and meet people that way. I don't know what to do about money, as you a chef that works at night or the day mainly?

    Or you could just invent some stupid fad diet and the boneheads there will eat it up (Literally). Only in socal or miami can these things start. I suggest the Montana diet. Comprised of moose burgers, smoked twigs for roughage, pine needle soup, and an hour of play dead drop and rolls to keep the legs toned (A friend can pretend to be the animal mauling you). You can add in a biweekly enema to make the cali people feel more comfortable. There, I just made you a million dollars. You can thank me by introducing me to all the 'working' starlets that will inevitably eat at your place in hopes of meeting Gwenyth or Madonna or some other beast of Hades.
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    What do you mean you don't know anyone there? There's a ton of OTers in SF, go hang out with them and have some fun.
     
  4. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    I am not in san fran

    like an hour away

    and my schedule is pretty fucked so my hours of sleep are weird

    I basically sleep all day and work all night so on my days off it is impossible to switch it without messing up my week at work
     
  5. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    Stick it out, you'll start meeting people soon.
    Then things will get better.
    If it's the work you don't like then it's more difficult for you, but as long as that's going ok, you'll get friends in the area in no time, and be glad you took the challenge to be independent.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well i personally think you should listen to your gut feeling and move back. But as others have said accustoming to a place takes time, 4 months or more would be needed. And it also depends on 'what you experience' on how you enjoy being in some place, night shifts is definitly no good for nobody, so what about working in a restaurant or something else that your culinary skills are usefull for? But i would only do that if it outweighs the pay of the nightshift work, which it most likely doesn't. :sad2:
     
  7. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    this says it all. go back home where you'll be happy and will have family/friends
     
  8. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    but there are no jobs back home which is the problem
     
  9. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    I barely get paid above min wage to do manual labor

    it blows ass

    and my shifts are even set, so I can work nights one day and then mornings the next. it blows.
     
  10. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    I made a big move about 4 years ago and the first 6 months were the hardest. It takes some time to get use to :hs: It'll get better Unigel :hug: Like others have said, take some more time to familiarize yourself with the area and meet some people- this is a big transition and it'll take some time to feel comfortable. <3
     
  11. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Well-Known Member

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    look for a better job ?
     
  12. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN Active Member

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    yeah this sounds more like a financial problem yes? If you are barely able to make it and living paycheck to paycheck I would definitely find another job or move back to something more stable.
    I just moved myself and while I'm still getting used to the environment financial stability will be top priority.
     
  13. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    well, tough decision you gotta make there doll. either you work in the field you are in somewhere else, or you work a different job at home.
     
  14. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Sound advice and quite funny too. :bigthumb:

    To the OP, these are your salad days....yeah, pun intended...but it's true. I thought back in the 90s when I graduated with an accounting degree that I was on easy street. Wrong....I had to really struggle for a few years before things started to turn around for me. Most people do.

    When you add in a new environment, it's easy to see how it's overwhelming but look, you're there now. Might as well make the best of it. Can't you get a part time job waiting tables either in your restaurant or another one? Either that or bartending. Waiters and bartenders can make bank and the hours are usually very flexible.

    I would be willing to bet, if you're honest, that there were more reasons that you moved beyond, "There are no jobs back home." Afterall, you could have moved a bit closer to your home town to find a job.....there are jobs all over the country. California isn't the only place hiring. hell you could have moved here to Oklahoma where one of my friends just got a job as a chef and he's struggling also.

    SO...remind yourself why you moved all the way across country and hold on to that. Times will get better....don't give up.
     
  15. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    well im planning to head home. i dislike the corporate nature of this company and i miss my friends / family.

    im looking for jobs back home now.

    i feel like a loser though.
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I work that same kinda schedule. That doesn't mean you can't still go out at night :dunno:
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why did you move across the country for a job that doesn't pay much and why would you move back home if there aren't any jobs there?

    I think you are giving up way too easily. You can't spend your whole life depending on other people. Your friends and family may move away sometime, then what will you do? You say that you miss your friends so try to make new ones. Your old friends aren't going to be around forever. Life changes, people move on. Do you want to spend your whole life living in the same city because you are too scared to do something new or to be away from the people you know? You aren't going to have a support system there overnight, those things take time. Also, your friends and family don't need to be there to support you, they can do that through phone/text/email/whatever.

    The reason you feel like a loser is that you know you are just taking the easy way out. Being scared is not a reason to give up. It's way too easy to just say "oh i can't do it" and leave so that you don't have to deal with things. If you want to be happy then you need to take some steps to make that happen. If you hate your job there, find a new one. You don't need to move all the way back home again to get a new job. Picking up a 2nd job would be a good way to both make more money and meet people.

    I'm sure you moved for reasons other than just the job. Remember what those are and give yourself time to be happy there instead of just giving up right away and going back to what's comfortable.
     
  18. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i think he moved to cali not doing his research about the job and did it on complete impulse.
     
  19. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    kind of
     
  20. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 Active Member

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    not for everyone I moved out of state once and absolutely hated it moved back 2 years later and don't regret it
     
  21. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    If it's any consolation, I'd probably hire some down and out chef that's skilled to cook for me if I was rich in socal. Maybe look into that.
     
  22. unigel

    unigel New Member

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    yeah
     
  23. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    I was kind of thinking more of a culture shock thing. Once you get over that then the urge to get the hell out of this crazy land goes away. Once you get comfortable with the layout and the culture, be it Tokyo or just Baltimore to LA, then you can better figure out hot to socialize and make friends.

    And why did you stay for 2 years in a situation you hated? School? Golden showers? handcuffs?
     
  24. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    I'm all for young people leaving home and getting out into the world.
    You can do it, you've just convinced yourself you miss your family and friends, so you now want to go home.
    You could have given yourself more time to to adjust, before deciding you wanted to quit.
     
  25. HoVa

    HoVa New Member

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    why do you feel that you don't hold your own destiny in your own hands?


    if you dont feel like its worth it, go find something else.


    you've already decided that it licks balls so go somewhere else or do something else.
     

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