I'm having a big problem right now. I was abused by my father when I was 14. After it went on for a few months I put a stop to it. Long story short, nothing was really done to help me and it was just kind of brushed under the rug. I have been with my current boyfriend for nine months now and I'm incredibly in love with him. I disclosed all of this to him when we had been together for four months. He took it pretty hard but is doing everything he can to understand how I feel about the situation so he can support me accordingly. But things have changed a little bit. My parents have come to town to help my grandmother who just had surgery. My boyfreind is currently on a diployment to Iraq (he's in the Airforce) And he has never met them before, he doesn't want to meet them. He has told me that he doesn't know what he would say to either of them if and when he were to meet them because of how they treated me after everything happened. Well, my parents have been in town now for three days and he has only called once. He usually calls once a day, if not twice. I had sent him an email early yesterday telling him that we were doing a lot of running around fixing things at my grandma's house. (sinks, pipes, yard stuff) When he did call me the one time since they have been there he said that he didn't even want to talk to me while they were there and he didn't want me to give him a "play by play" of what we were doing. He thinks it's wrong that I still talk to them at all. For me, the fact of the matter is they are still my parents. And when it comes to family stuff like helping out my grandmother I'm not going to hide in my apartment until they leave town, I want to contribute. And I do still love my parents on some level, I even like them sometimes. I'm just having a hard time deciding how important it is for me to "hate" my parents. I did boulster enough courage to tell my mom when we were alone that I wanted to go to counceling, and I would put it through my insurance but any left over expenses I wanted for her to pay and she agreed. I will say I'm pretty proud of myself for doing that. So now I have to find a therapist that will be good for me. One thing that did bother me though is that she said "You need to be careful who you go to. Some of them are more about stiring things up than resolving the issue and putting it behind you." Which led me to believe that she wants me to do this, but only if it doesn't stir anything up for anyone else to have to deal with. Like it's my problem and I need to handle it descretely on my own but she will foot the bill. That was a bit frustrating. But getting back to my point, I don't know what to think about my boyfriend and what he said. How do I make it clear that this is my issue, and I understand that it comes back on him because he is in a relationship with me, but I have to handle it in my own way, at my own pace, and that doesn't mean cutting them completely out of my life, especially if they are willing to help. I'm trying to make him understand that I just need his support, a shoulder to lean on and cry if I need to. He's very head strong and wants to have issues resolved right away, and it really gets under his skin that this has been left as is for the last nine years and I waited until now to do something about it. He has stated how he thinks I should handle it from here on out and what he would say, but I don't want him to fix it for me. He is trying to handle the problems that we are having at the same time and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I told him that I need to take a few days to myself to handle my business and I don't want him to worry about me. I know that is a little bit selfish but I feel that's what I need to do for myself to get through these next few days while my parents are here and try to get what I need said and possibly get some answers. Any thoughts?