My boyfriend and I have been dating now for almost 5 months... he turned 19 in March and I turned 18 in December. At the beginning, when we were just friends, I noticed he would drink, and not just at parties, but at home... pouring himself glass a glass of double rye with ice and coke. When he would finish that drink, he would pour himself another.. and another. At first I thought he would just drink socially, around his friends when they/we were hanging out. Then I started to get real close to him on the phone and would hear him drinking, or pouring something and I would ask what he was doing. "Pouring myself a drink." -"Oh... what kind?" -"The usual." So then I realized, ok, this guy obviously doesn't ever drink just a soda. I guess he just likes to drink a lot. I wasn't one of his bestfriends though at this time. I felt I didn't have the right to say anything. I really liked him and I didn't want him to think I was being nosy or intrusive. We had only known each other for a month, hanging out off and on. But everytime I was with him, not only would he drink, I would drink too. I started to be around his 4 bestfriends day in and day out, sleeping over at my new found girlfriends house almost every other night, even when I had school the very next morning. We would drink all night, go to sleep, drag ouselves through the day and do it all over again. I would go to school hungover pretty much everyday, since the problem had started to become more consistent. My friends started to notice, and then after a while I just stopped caring if I had missed class, or if I even went to school. (Which, mind you, has fucked me up BAD, I failed classes my last semester of school, and now I have to take online courses just to get my highschool diploma.) My bestfriends started telling me how they never saw me, and were always wondering what I was up to. I would have tons of stories to tell about this "new guy" and they all seemed so happy for me but now that I look back, they tried so hard to be serious with me, sitting me down, telling me I had to start going to class... I can't come to school every day hungover on my graduating year. I would sorta joke around and be like "Yaaaaaa... I know " My bestfriend and I got in a few fights. This guy or should I say, the alcohol were the only 2 things I wanted to be around. Before I had met him, I had just gotten out of a year and half relationship. I was still in love with my ex. But this new guy came into my life like a fresh ocean breeze and made things matter again. Alcohol made things matter again. I was turning into him, and I didn't even notice.. starting to get one of my bestfriends into the routine of drinking. She was smart and knew she was starting to miss school too much and pretty much stopped the routine of drinking every day. When Adam and I started to become extremely close and official his habits rubbed off on me and he started drinking even more. On weekends we wouldn't do anything, drink all through out the day. I felt so good. He bought his new motorcycle though, so the drinking cut down a little. But then he started to choose drinking over riding his bike again. I stopped drinking as much after 3 and half months or so and when ever he would pour me a drink I would tell him no. It obviously made him feel bad, I could tell. I hated not drinking but I wanted him to know that I was getting mad about him drinking so much and so often. About 1 month ago, I sat him down, told him how much I love him, told him I didn't want to see him get hurt, told him everything I was feeling about him drinking so much and I asked him to stop. He told me how hard it was and how he can't and how he has tried before, and the only way he can stop is to COMPLETELY quit drinking, and how he can't even drink 1 drink. Or he'll get hooked again. But he told me how much he loved me and saw that I was upset about it, near tears, and promised he would try his best, as long as I help him. Then that night he told me something I didn't know, he went to the docters around 2 months ago and found out his liver was already getting fucked. The docter told him if he doesn't stop drinking, he will die in his late 20's. I couldn't believe it. I asked him how long he had been drinking and he told me ever since he had met me he had cut down. 'Cut DOWN? I thought, wtf, how is that cutting down??' Apparently he has been drinking ever since he was 13, it started out by going over to his bestfriends house every day, the dad practically forcing him to have drinks, he wanted to feel cool, choking down every last gulp of what he thought was disgusting. The dad would offer another, he would say ok, and it went on and on until he needed the liqour to get through the day. He suffers from serious depression when hes sober but is going to get back on anti-depressents since hes going to 'quit' drinking. I just couldn't believe that his drinking with me (drinking all night, hard liqour drinks, to waking up in the morning at like 9 and pouring himself another drink) was nothing compared to himself living off of alcohol before he met me. He drank over and over every single day except at work. So its been a month, but he hasn't totally cut off drinking. He has the occasional drink but I don't see any bad habits coming back and there is never a bottle of liqour on his computer desk like there was before all the time. He asks me when ever he can have a drink if he wants. I say ok, when he does, which is maybe 3 times a week. But he told me he needed to completely quit for his addiction to vanish, so I don't understand. Is this bad? Does he need to completely cut it out? Will his habits eventually come back? If he stops drinking will his body repair the damage he has already caused it? Is there anything I can do to make him feel better? He said when ever he isn't with me hes so depressed, all he wants to do is drink. But when he is with me, I make it better and its easier not to drink for him knowing it will make me happy and that it will make him happy in the end. We ride around on his bike every day in the summer heat and we actually do things now. Went to banff, went hiking, we go to movies, out to dinner, we are sober all the time now (almost), and he got a new construction job that keeps him busy from 6 in the morning to 6 in the evening.. but, I just want to know if it will all end soon. On a side note, I know i'm not an alcoholic but I miss drinking so much. It helped me through family problems, it made everything go away, my ex didn't exist when I drank. I have a crown royal bottle under my bed and crave the occasional rye and coke. But I feel horrible for drinking and not telling him. I guess theres really no point in me telling that but, just to add, i'm not perfect at all. Thanks.