LOVE My girlfriend just moved out...

thachewster

New Member
Nov 12, 2004
30
UK
... well ex girlfriend I guess, just moved out of our apartment. This is because of me.

For the last month, maybe more, I've been feeling unhappy in the relationship. When she calls me, I don't answer straight away, sometimes I'd like stare at the phone and kind of sigh before answering. Her little annoying habits (everybody has them) became even more annoying.

When she wanted attention like to cuddle, I didn't really want to give it. We would have sex every night or every other night but the last month I've been getting into bed trying to avoid it.

She realised that something wasn't right and asked me what was wrong and I told her everything, told her I was unhappy and that I don't think I wanted to be with her anymore.

This destroyed her. I've never felt such pain and guilt like I do now. She's constantly texting and calling telling me I'm making a big mistake and I'm just a bit confused right now and we can work through it but I stood firm and told her that I don't love her anymore.

However, her constantly telling me that I'm making a mistake and this is just a wobble is actually making me think, is it? Or am I confusing guilt with love?

Help. :wtc:

p.s It's also worth noting that we we are both 22 and have been best friends since we were 14 and we took a huge step and gamble in deciding to date each.
 

Jacy

red lipstick brigade
Aug 26, 2002
13,481
San Francisco
You made the right decision. Remind yourself of the reasons why you broke up with her-- you weren't happy.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,942
You made the right decision. Remind yourself of the reasons why you broke up with her-- you weren't happy.
.

She's going to continue trying to guilt you. Try to speak to her as little as possible (for both your sakes). Also, don't be shocked when she stalks your every move...she sounds like one of those girls.

How long were you together?
 

D7

OT Supporter
Dec 20, 2008
6,406
However, her constantly telling me that I'm making a mistake and this is just a wobble is actually making me think, is it? Or am I confusing guilt with love?

You're confused for sure. I've doubted some of my breakups but its always turned out ok in the long run. You need to decide in the next 24 hours if you're going to stick to this decision. If you do, change your phone # immediately and do not contact her.
 

THoC

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2007
7,349
probably guilt and not a mistake.


give it a while and see how you feel about it. this should be on your terms.... do not let her guilt you into anything.
 

C.W.

OT Supporter
Jun 8, 2006
8,105
Dallas, TX
Just be honest with her about what was bothering you. Doubtful she will change but if she does then decide if you want to continue a relationship
 

Tevin

Member
Sep 11, 2010
453
This topic seems to come up a lot here, but my answer is always the same: You didn't cheat on her or play her. You did not give her any "let's take a break from each other" horseshit, which is the way a little pussy dumps someone. You did not allow her to roll through life thinking she has a future with you. You gave her the dignity of an honest, face-to-face, unequivocal breakup.

That's all you could do. And that's all you owe her. I know the feeling sucks but you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's like putting a dog down: No one feels good about it, but there is no other honorable option. One day you both will come to realize (and perhaps explain to your own kids) that it's almost a certainty the person you date as a teenager/young adult will not still be around in ten or five or even two years.

You acted like a gentleman. Good job.
:wiggle:
 

JBunni

New Member
Apr 15, 2009
1,021
east of here
Thanks for all the responses.

Turns out she was a lunatic. Best decision of my life.

Curious how long you two were together?

Depending on how long you were together, I would say it might have been good to tell her what was bothering you, and see if you could work it out instead of just bailing. But if you have not been together that long and her normal self 'annoys' you, then yeah, you did the right thing.

If you guys were together for a long time and you just told her you didnt love her anymore, 'out of the blue', I could understand her turning into a lunatic.

In for the story.
 

Replicant

New Member
Apr 14, 2006
30,464
OK
It says something if you say you aren't happy and you don't love her anymore, yet she just says "you're making a mistake, etc". Is she not the slightest bit concerned why YOU are not happy? That would be the nail in the coffin my friend. I think you should just continue with what you decided.
 
TS
TS

thachewster

New Member
Nov 12, 2004
30
UK
It says something if you say you aren't happy and you don't love her anymore, yet she just says "you're making a mistake, etc". Is she not the slightest bit concerned why YOU are not happy? That would be the nail in the coffin my friend. I think you should just continue with what you decided.
I was only with her a year and a bit and we basically rushed our entire relationship. We went travelling after a couple of months, in which we fought everyday but I put that down to stress and then moved in together pretty much as soon as we got back.

I haven't loved or even cared for her for the last few months of the relationship and a few months out of 14 months is quite a high percentage!

She's a lunatic as she's been showing up at my house, even when she knows I won't be in and calling me telling me she's there to take some knives and forks from the house which she is entitled to as she paid for them which is the most petty thing I've ever heard off and then started shouting down the phone asking what she has done to deserve this.

Then she started calling me in the middle of the night accusing me of cheating and asking who I've been going out with and what I've been doing etc Then her sisters have been sending me nasty text messages about how much of a c*** I am for doing this.

Then she'll call me the next day with a 'Hey, What's up?' as if nothing has happened.

Maybe this isn't crazy to you folks but it seems crazy to me.

I've basically never been happier since she's I've broken up with her. It's amazing! When I think of her now, I actually get annoyed and when I think back to stuff, I realise how much she did annoy me throughout our entire relationship.

Lunatic!
 

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