LOVE My girlfriend wants me to find a solution to our arguing

juvental604

I like to pee upside down
OT Supporter
Aug 15, 2006
7,168
Anyone with any Ideas? We both have large arguements over really DUMB things atleast once or twice a month . We end up saying pretty nasty things and then making up.

She wants me to find the solution to this problem and says if one more argument happens its over.

Shes willing to go to some type of couples therapy or something but I dunno what would be a good one.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
It's not your job to fix your shitty communication with one another.

If she's open to therapy I'd suggest seeing a professional who can point out how you both need to change
 

Nomad

Active Member
Sep 30, 2005
25,874
1. break up with gf
2. stop fighting
3. ????
4. profit


simple as that son
 

giapia

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re
Jun 19, 2005
7,051
SoCal
i'm gonna go ahead and jump out on a ledge here and say that your first (and likely your biggest) problem is communication. the fact that she expects YOU to fix this screams fail.

relationship = more than one person involved, dontchaknow
 
TS
TS
juvental604

juvental604

I like to pee upside down
OT Supporter
Aug 15, 2006
7,168
i'm gonna go ahead and jump out on a ledge here and say that your first (and likely your biggest) problem is communication. the fact that she expects YOU to fix this screams fail.

relationship = more than one person involved, dontchaknow

well shes willing to go to a class of somesort with me if that will help so she does realize im not the only one to blame.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
Wait, I just realized you're the guy whose girlfriend dumped him over the ice cream bullshit.

Why are you even still with her? You two are obviously not good together.
 

Jimeigh

Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven
Nov 29, 2005
19,691
FIX OUR PROBLEM OR WE'RE THROUGH!


sounds like a keeper.
 

jbuffethed

Member
Aug 10, 2003
306
Maxwell AFB
5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

My wife and I have been together for 14yrs and married for 9yrs. Reading this book opened up both our heads about communication and ways to communicate in each others language. Both of you read it, not just you. If you work at what he talks about, you will see results. We did.
 

droobles

New Member
Mar 10, 2011
239
YOU don't need to find a solution, BOTH of you do. You have to discuss and figure out what you both need to / don't need to compromise on. It takes two to tango.
 

NCS

Active Member
Apr 2, 2002
5,674
arguments are either communication problems or you aren't aligned on your vision of what your couple should be like. if its the first, you can work on it. if its the second, no way.
 

MattThom01

Active Member
Jan 2, 2006
8,506
I want to reply, but I don't see the point. You're ether young, stupid, or both.

Nothing we say is going to help you...you're just going to have to learn this the hard way.
 
Last edited:

Tevin

Member
Sep 11, 2010
453
Anyone with any Ideas?

Did she actually say that it's on you to figure this out? Or are you simply reading it that way?

If she really is laying it at your feet to take sole responsibility for "finding a solution," then wow, I would not waste my money and effort on counseling. The only idea I can suggest is to break up with her. Someone who believes it's solely the other half's problem to figure it all out is not invested in the relationship and/or doesn't care enough to pull their weight. Big time deal breaker for me.

Another tactic you can do on your own is simply not participate in the childishness. Arguing can escalate only up to the point that both sides want it to. When I am in any situation and things get heated, I politely excuse myself and leave. No yelling, no making a scene. I just leave. It works for disagreements with anyone, not just a bf/gf.
 

Deborah

Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.
Aug 21, 2008
3,633
Just dump her. I don't think relationships where you find it acceptable to say nasty things to each other are worth staying in.
 

Midgetized

Don't mess with Douche Cat
May 29, 2000
49,721
San Diego, CA
I think you'd be better off reading a book about communication than wasting money on a couple's counselor. This doesn't sound like a serious relationship so there's no reason to get counseling, you can just break up if it doesn't work out.

Despite the cheesy sounding title, "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" is actually a really good book for understanding how the other person views things and how you can communicate instead of arguing.

:werd: to Yail's post

A lot of arguments happen because the woman is in a bad mood and the man somehow feels like he is responsible for her being in a bad mood because he thinks he should be able to make everything perfect for her. So he takes it personally and lets her bad mood bring him down instead of helping her out of her mood. If you want to have a successful relationship you both need to know how to best help your partner out of a bad mood so that it doesn't turn into an unnecessary argument. Some people need alone time, some need to be listened to, some want to watch tv and forget reality or go work out the feelings with exercise. If you give the other person what they need then you can both be in a good mood and you won't fight.
 

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