SRS My life feels dull and not worth living

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Diesel Fumes, May 23, 2006.

  1. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    I know I shouldn't think like this, but I take it as it comes.

    My list of reasons why my life currently sucks:

    -12000 debt student loans
    -6000 debt credit card
    -just broke up with my gf of only 2 months and I feel devistated and lost
    -no real friends to speak of
    -a dead end job which I am quitting at in two weeks
    -anxiety issues which continue to control and limit my life
    -constant depression
    -continuous thoughts of hopelessness
    -Im doing terrible in school and have no ambition to do any of my work
    -I've been living in the same city for 9 years and am sick of it
    -going for a 4 day road trip in two weeks, by myself, cause I got no friends. Not sure why I even want to go.
    -I usually can't go out in public or be around others without having to have a cigarette

    Im on medication and I have gotten therapy. Neither have done much to help my situation.

    The worst bit of all this is my recent break up with my girlfriend. When I was with her she gave me stability. I knew she was always there if I ever wanted to go hang out with her and talk to her. She gave me the reason to forget about all my other troubles. Now that she is no longer in my life, all my other problems are resurfacing and it is absolutely tearing me apart. Im on the brink of breaking down into tears right now. I just don't know what to do. Pray? Hope something improves in the future? I want to learn how to love myself before I love anyone else again.

    Im all over the place here and I know theres no advice which could help me out here. I just don't know what I need and I need some serious help from someone.

    I know I will get over this whole bs about my girlfriend in a few weeks, but these few weeks after a breakup always make me analyze my life and realize that not all is like it seems to me.
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    You can't depend on others for happiness. You have to find it in yourself first (and yes I know this is easier said than done!).
    *YOU* have the power to change your life. Do something about it or continue to live the way you do and feel miserable.
  3. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

    Jan 19, 2006
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    Find a new hobby or activity maybe. If you have something that you can improve on regularly, you may get a better feeling of accomplishment.
  4. Clix

    Clix New Member

    Jan 8, 2004
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    Fornication, Tx

    Completely right about that. I was doing that for awhile to my ex and then she broke up with me and told me I ever want her back that I better get my shit straight cuase I make her unhappy becuase I wasnt happy. Im getting things together and stuff and I feel like a new man, even though I was being forced to either change or be the angry depressed person I was.
  5. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

    Oct 29, 2005
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    Go on that roadtrip. Take that time to yourself. Apparently you haven't been giving enough time to yourself to think about yourself and what you want to do. This road trip will FORCE you to do this.
  6. Quiero_Mas215

    Quiero_Mas215 New Member

    Mar 10, 2006
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    Las Vegas
    Which meds are you on? Anti-depressants?
  7. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

    Jan 28, 2006
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    get on meds. Go to a better therapist, One that is the same gender as you because this way they can relate to you. Keep trying out therapist until you find a good one. You need help and you will get better eventually.

    As for your work and school. What kind of things are you into? If you can start a business that has to do with something your into you will be sucessful.

    Dont look for a girl friend. You have to much going on for that kind of stress.

    as for the debt. Can you move in with any of your family to save money?
  8. warped_mind

    warped_mind New Member

    Sep 10, 2002
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    Republic of Vancouver Island
    My mother always said this:

    "If it's to be, it's up to me."

    Sure it may not be grammatically correct, but it holds a deep meaning. I have seen to many people in my young years here that have felt there was nothing more to life. It is unfortunate.

    I have struggled through issues myself before and it has been hard. No one can truly give you a seemingly YES or NO answer to this dilemma, but there are ways. Life is not as seemingly dull as it may seem.

    Therapy helps. Find a group of like minded individuals. They are out there. People work through these issues together and it does help.

    Things such as debt can seem huge, but you must see them as trivial. Unfortunately a huge percentage of the population must deal with debt, it is basically becoming a factor of life. Look not upon your debt as a mistake, but as a life lesson. It is better to see that you must perhaps manage money more accordingly now, sooner than later. There are ways, you just must find them.

    Anyways, what I am trying to get at, these issues may seem huge and encompassing presently, but if you are able to work them out accordingly, you will see that it is managable.

    Life is certainly short, so try and live to the fullest. Do not feel afraid to seek help or advice from others. It is not worth suffering. You will work things out!

    I believe in you!
  9. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    something strange happened today. My girlfriend and I made amends. I haven't agreed to get back together with her yet, but im sure the door is open if I so choose. I kind of feel happier now and im sure this is a bad thing. It has REALLY got me thinking though. I dont want myself to appear as though I only want her for emotional support, but I can't help but feel that this is the truth.

    Yea, I like her a lot. But enough to be true and genuine to her for a long time? I dont know that yet and im pretty sure thats what she is seeking in a relationship. She has been engaged twice and it was broken off, both times, by the man. So I understand her fear of being hurt again.
  10. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

    Apr 24, 2006
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    About the girlfriend, that ZX3 person is right: You have to be cool with yourself first. Don't worry about another person being your savior in life. That's what you are. Other people should just be nice pluses.

    If you're happy with yourself, and someone else is happy with themself, then you can both be happy together. If an unhappy person dates a happy person, the unhappy person will only use their gf/bf as an escape from themselves, or their personal emotional lifeboat. That's not comfortable for the person doing all the saving, and it doesn't make for a good relationship.

    If you want friends in a hurry, a great way to find and meet a lot of people is hobby websites where they have regular meetings. Car/motorcycle forums are great for this. There are large communities out there, they meet locally on a fairly regular basis, and you've already gotten to know them online so you know who you wanna hang out with. You show up at a meet, say hi, and you've got some new friends.

    A note: People gravitate away from those with hopeless attitudes. The most popular guy I know has a very happy go lucky attitude about everything. I know another guy who sulks all the time and is just sarcastic, and he's friends with almost nobody.

    You need to seek out those positives in life, because they're really everywhere. I'm as deeply in debt as you are, and I'm surviving all by myself. Just get a job you like and will pay the bills. It doesn't have to be much. A server at a decent restaurant can make a LOT of money. If you have to move to a better city to get that going on, do it. It'll be worth the other $500-1,000 on your credit card that gets your life started over.

    Find a place that you can be comfortable in, and then your life will be comfortable too. If you're in an atmosphere of stress, make it less stressful or move on. Don't sulk in it. That just makes things worse. Now put on some inspiring music and get moving.
  11. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    she broke up with me today. TOld me she was going back with her ex boyfriend. I feel at a loss right now and I dont know why. Hopefully I will be over this in a few days :sad2:
  12. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    strange thing is that her ex bf is 40 years old. I just finished talking to her and I also sent her an email. Is it bad that I care about what she does? I told her to think about it again and call me when she gets her head straight. :wtc:
  13. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Mar 4, 2005
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    There's the problem right there. Forgetting or hiding your list of problems doesn't do anything but postpone the pain for another day. Tackle them head towards solving the problems instead.
  14. scrotomus

    scrotomus you're a scumbag

    Aug 5, 2002
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    Sounds like you need to stabilize yourself, not use some woman as a crutch, not surprised she dumped your ass

    12k in student loans = nothing
    6k in CC debt isnt *too* bad

    start hitting the gym, you will feel less depressed and anxious, be more attractive and less bored
    Find some hobbies that will also alleviate boredom, and you may meet some people :dunno:

    and go find a job that isnt dead end. if you cant, perhaps you need to go back to school, dont be afraid of student loans, they dont count towards your total debt load for credit or anything. You do need to get a handle on your credit cards though
  15. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    i've actually had a few days to think about this. Our relationship was strange. She changed everything and yes, she upped my mood at times. But most of the problems I had before dating were still evident. I worried about myself and yes, I do have self respect in that I study hard, work hard, exercise, eat well, etc. I don't think she was a crutch for me, but more so someone I shared experiences with. I think subconsciously I knew that we both had problems which we needed to work out and I think she was aware of this too. It all seemed good to me, but oh well. Im still down about it all, but the problems of myself have become more evident in the past few days, I'm just now having trouble dealing with so much at once.

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