I have done everything for this woman. She got into a bad car loan with her former boyfriend. She cosigned HIS car loan. Well it wasn't a loan... it was a lease. He decided to stop paying. We collected his car - I had to go along with her to protect her. He also owned an HDTV that we took from him (that was on her credit card too). I paid for the Uhaul. I stored it. I put it up on eBay and I sold it from ebay. I gave her all the money from it. She doesn't make as much money as I do. At first when we met my own finances were a mess. My fault. She helped me get them straightened out. After my finances where under control I began to notice how hard it was for her to make her bills. She wasn't bad at finances like me, she worked in a poorly paying job. I began giving her money to help her with her bills. I started doing things like canceling the cable at my apartment and picking up the cable bill at hers. I was always happy to do this, I didn't want her to get a second job and I saw how much it stressed her out. Whatever I could do to help. After a few months I got a clue and realized that we could both be better off if we moved in together. I mean, a lot of our bills where duplicates, rent and phone and such. At that point I had already decided that I wanted to get married to her. For me it was a matter of time. Originally I was going to wait until her lease was up to move in with her. But I thought why not. Then in July her Mother died. It was tragic and unexpected. Her Mother and Father were vacationing in Europe (Germany and Austria) when it happened. So everything that you know about someone dying and getting buried 3 days went out the window. Like 3 days after it happened she was on the phone with her Father when she says to me, 'Hey my Father wants us to move in with him. Can we do that?'. I had a deer in the headlights moment. My original answer was, 'ummm hell no.'. I was wise enough not to say it. I tried to put off giving an answer, but she hung up the phone and just started bugging me till I gave her one. Someone that is mourning like that, how can you say no to any request? So we moved into her Fathers house. Lately she has been pushing marriage and kid HARD. Like every day she brings it up. I am not thrilled to be there. Yeah it is nice not to have to be paying the bills. But God I want to be making my own decisions. That part drives me nuts. To have put the Tivo on the main TV but realized that her Father couldn't stand it. I had to put the Tivo upstairs in the bedroom. I mean, I know it is a small stupid thing, but I am 33 years old. I have lived on my own since I was 20. I am an independent person. So I started asking her what needs to happen for us to move out. She rolls her eyes and wants me to shut up. She wants to live with her Father forever. I told her that I am going to take college classes in November. We can do it all. I can do college, we can get married we can have a kid. We can do it while living at her Fathers house. But I am going to be miserable if I don't know that at some point we can't be shopping for a house to raise our family in on our own. I need to know that it is important to her - because it is important to me. If she wants to have a kid and get married, I need her and me to come to a conclusion about what needs to happen for us to get our first home. I am thinking I finish college, get another job and we should go shopping. She won't commit. I can't marry someone under these circumstances. Living at her Fathers house is important to her (cause of her Mom) and we are doing it. Baby and marriage - she can have that before the year 2007 is over. I am ready for that. I will give her these things. I need this one thing. And all she does is claim I am trying to make her choose between Me and her Father. My Doctor recomended a book for BOTH of us to read, 'Her Needs, His Needs'. I bought it on Amazon tonight. I told her I need both of us to read it. She said it is stupid and it won't help. I told her that maybe we both need to have a group session with my Doctor then. She won't do that. I told her that our relationship is broken and that all I want to do is fix it. How am I the bad guy here?