So the title is pretty straight forward on why my life has been put on halt and kind of jumbled into a mix of confusion. Last monday my father passed away, techincally my step father but he raised me since I was 2 so I had a great amount of respect and love for him. It was hard the first day for me where I could not hold back most of the day. Sometimes when I am alone I kind of have emotional spills but since Monday I have been pretty solid, everyone asking if i am ok and there sincerest apologies. I really don't know how i should feel. My mind races constantly. I have been taking care of my sister as my main priority since its her real father and she depended on him a lot for guidance especially since she has had a lot of personal problems that he was helping her in. My step mom and my lil step brother I feel for. I can't even attempt to understand how to explain it to my little brother when he gets older what happened to his dad. He is 4. My father's passing is still unknown he was just found in the bathtub in the morning not living. He was 48. Young and healthy. Sorry if my mind is scattered. I just have not had much chance to talk to myself about this, or figure out what is going to happen now. Pretty much I feel like he left me as his sole person to take on most of his responsbilities and cares. Everything from guiding my sister in her life in her time of need, taking care of my step mom in order to let her take care and nurture my little brother. While teaching my brother how great his dad was. This is without talking about the business he owns and the responsbility that may come with that if it becomes something set for me to take on a lot of what he did. I am just happy my friends are being here for me 110%.