Hello All!, I have not posted on here for a year at least, but I always get the best advice on these forums. This woman I went to high school with used to be a big girl in school and I was her cousins friend so I took up for her when she got picked on, so there is a history there 10 years pass she lost all off her weight. I get reacquainted with her and find out we both are divorced I am going through one she has been divorced for about two years. She has been lending emotional support to help me through my divorce so we have been talking a lot. Well after a few meet ups I did not hear from here in almost a month so I figured she was not interested in me. Well last Saturday she calls me wanting to know if I wanted to hang out with me but was in a town an hour away at the time visiting family, so she had to drive an hour out of her way to come and see me. When she shows up she is wearing a a very nice dress that shows off most of her goodies and tells me matter of factually that she had her make up done at some place. We have a very nice afternoon and evening together she leaves nothing happened at all not even a kiss. Now she did not go or was going to any formal function she was just visiting family and every other time she came to see me she was just wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans when I asked her why she was all dressed up she replied "I always dress nice like this." Anytime I have mentioned us dating she always replied "We'll see." which to me was a no so I just started looking else where So I am either dealing with a Dark Lord of the Sith or a completely clueless woman who dose not understand what it means to show up at a guys door wearing a sexy dress. My theories are she just wants attention but no commitment, or she is clueless (I don't think so but maybe) or she knows that my divorce will be final in about ten days and is just hung up on that and wanted to keep me interested until it is final. Or she got stood up by another guy and I was her fall back guy. I am no stranger to the dating world and I know there is a game that has to be played, but I do not think she is into the usual dating game criteria. Anyways that's the story any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated as long as they are productive ones. Thank you in advance. Don
Since your divorce is final in 10 days, next time you 2 hang out, make a move and kiss her. It wont happen until you make the first move.
I'm just gonna be honest here.....she's not fully interested in you. Every time you've brought up dating she's said "we'll see?" Yeah, that just means she's not really into the idea. I'm sure she have a level of interest in you, but she's also a divorcee and for all you know she's got some other guy(s) in mind on the side. What do you want? Do you really want to jump from your marriage into another relationship? Is it just her? Do you think you want her because you can't get her? Are you afraid of being alone? Do you not want to play the field a little bit and see what else is out there? I need those questions answered before I go further.
Thanks for the reply. I concur with you first answer I don't think she is fully interested in me but there has to be some interest there. I have been through my rebound stage and running around whoring it up with woman so I have played the field as well.I am not jumping from marriage to a relationship either, and as far as wanting her her just because I can't have her I am to seasoned to fall for that. I have already gave up the chase with her before I can do it it again. As far other men I am sure of it! She has mention a few guys that have been chasing her so I am sure she is seeing which one is going to be better for her. I will admit I do not like being alone but I am aware of those feelings and trying not let those feelings influence me. She is a great woman very smart very pretty loves life and full of laughter she has a lot of qualities that I look for in a woman. I would post a a pic but I can not seem to figure out how.
Well thanks for advice I will keep you posted good luck coming up with more ways of saying "She is not interested."
Thanks for actually posting answers! Now that you have it seems pretty clear, at least to me It seems she's just not ready for a commitment. Something about you holds her back. Not sure if it's you, the other men she's interested in or what, but for your sake I'd find out and find out fast because I wouldn't waste much more time on her if it's ultimately going nowhere. She might enjoy the attention from you. Hell, she probably enjoys the attention from any guys she's getting it from. I can imagine after a divorce my self-esteem might be lowered as well. I'd say for now to just really ask her on a date and talk about you two ad what you want. If she skirts the issue, etc. then you know it's not going to happen and from that point forward you should look towards moving past her as an option
Well I did leave a tid bit of info out she is moving to Oxford, MS which is about four hours from where I live. If you know Oxford at all its full of soon to be lawyers and other professionals so she will get snatch up pretty quick up there I am sure. I will have to move fast to prevent that. She told me that her sister who lives in Oxford is already trying to set her up with guys up there but so far she has no interest in any of the guys her sister is trying to hook her up with. So now that I got it out in the open and have gotten some real unbiased advice, it is clear to me what I need to do I simply going to ask her straight up and if I don't get a straight answer I will start looking else where. Thanks again!
Ahhh ok, that makes a huge difference! I wouldnt want to start something even remotely serious with a guy if I was about to move 4 hours away. But good luck. Talk to her so that even if she says no you get some kind of closure
Very true! I have consider that myself. But I just have this gut feeling about it. I don't why I just do even though my gut usually has shit for brains!! Your right about closure I am going to try the word the question so distance won't matter, but that is going to be nigh impossible! Like I said I will keep you posted.
Update We are good now she was hung up on the divorce thing we are taking it slow and easy for a while she feels I need time to heal she dose not want to be a rebound girl. So I am going to take a break from dating and just chill for awhile and see what happens.