SRS Need some advice. Online Dating

Goonigoogoo

Active Member
Nov 30, 2004
14,715
A couple of months ago I got out of a 3 year relationship (abusive) and am looking to meet new people. So i joined match.ca I paid the membership fee and i also created a profile on plentyoffish.com last week.

My dilemma right now is i've lined up 4 dates in 5 days ... should i be honest about the dates I'm going on with the other women? I want to be upfront and honest with them but i also don't want to get slapped in the face. I honestly didn't think i'd get this many dates in 1 week so i'm feeling overwhelmed.

Edit: I never kiss on the first date, it's cheezy and disrespectful. So my intentions are NOT to fool around with all of them. I'm just looking for that one special lady.
 

Tumbles

Active Member
Oct 30, 2007
2,775
San Jose, CA
You're not obligated to be exclusive from the getgo and they should have no expectations that you are. It's not like you expect that you are the only date they have lined up, right?

No need to tell them.
 

MattThom01

Active Member
Jan 2, 2006
8,507
If you just met a woman, she's not expecting to be talking about exclusivity. If she is, she's crazy, and you're better off NOT dating her.
 
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Goonigoogoo

Goonigoogoo

Active Member
Nov 30, 2004
14,715
Thanks everyone for their input. I just wasn't sure what the etiquette was. I really didn't plan on having this many dates at once, now i just hope i don't get their names mixed up.
 

Spiritus

Well-Known Member
Oct 15, 2002
19,323
Dating random women online seems like a horrible way to find women.

Your average women is like your average man: full of defects. Full of hidden ugliness.

A virtuous woman is very rare nowadays. Real virtue is hard to find in anyone, but without it then the marriage will not be perfect.
 
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Goonigoogoo

Goonigoogoo

Active Member
Nov 30, 2004
14,715
Spiritus, for me it's a nice way to meet women. First off i'm very shy, and i do have a stutter, so i break the ice via chat/email so once the first date comes a lot of the nerves and jitters have already passed. I don't work with any women so meeting them at work is out and i don't to the club/bar scene, haven't since i was 19, i am now 34.
 

Stilgar1973

New Member
Aug 12, 2006
8,340
I absolutely wouldn't talk about it.
But I wouldn't lie about it either.

If you are two healthy adults on a first date it is EXPECTED that there is no exclusivity. That comes later.

Just understand that no one wants to go out on a date and feel like it is a contest and they have to score more then the next chick.

If some woman told me that I would end the date immediately.
 

terdbird

Member
Aug 30, 2011
290
Lexington, KY
Edit: I never kiss on the first date, it's cheezy and disrespectful. So my intentions are NOT to fool around with all of them. I'm just looking for that one special lady.

This is entirely unwarranted. If this is a steadfast rule, you are over thinking things. If it feels right at the end of the date, go for it. Be a man. There have been plenty of times at the end of the date where we were talking or saying goodbye and it just felt right so I went for it. Seriously, the worst that will happen is she will tell you she isn't into it. If she is still talking with you and didn't bow out of the date right after dinner or whatever, she is at least a little into you. I wouldn't try and fuck off the bat, but if she offered to go up to her place I would follow and see what happens. Don't over think this, just be yourself and you will succeed.
 

amze

New Member
Oct 1, 2007
10,669
Don't bring up the fact you are 'dating' other women.

First dates, are supposed to be fun and simple.. get a feel for eachother and see where it goes from there.

Just be yourself.
 
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Goonigoogoo

Goonigoogoo

Active Member
Nov 30, 2004
14,715
Thanks for all the advice guys. So last night had my first date of the week, had my cell phone on mute. The dinner date lasted 3 and a half hours, we had a great time, no silences whatsoever. She even ordered more tea after dinner which i took as a sign if she wanted to gtfo there she wouldn't even had ordered one.

When i got back to my car all 4 + 1 new girl had messaged me the time i was in the restaurant and i just told all of them i was out to dinner. Tomorrow i have a lunch date and at night another date (which i've REALLY connected with) with another one.

I left it open ended i told all of them i was out to dinner, none asked with who, if they did i'd tell them the truth. And the response about kissing onf irst day, yes i agree, but i probably won't be the one initiating it.
 
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Goonigoogoo

Goonigoogoo

Active Member
Nov 30, 2004
14,715
do you think it will hurt you if they find out?

No, cause i'm not leading them on, so far i've had 2 good dates. Good food good company. Got another one tonight, Saturday night and lunch date on Sunday.

The one i have a date with tonight we've connected big time over the phone and chat so if this goes well i will probably pursue it further and cancel the other 2. I'll keep you all updated.

:hug:
 

djshotglass

New Member
May 4, 2007
3,756
Spiritus, for me it's a nice way to meet women. First off i'm very shy, and i do have a stutter, so i break the ice via chat/email so once the first date comes a lot of the nerves and jitters have already passed. I don't work with any women so meeting them at work is out and i don't to the club/bar scene, haven't since i was 19, i am now 34.

Don't worry about spiritus he's the "special" member of this forum

Go out and have fun and don't talk about other women to them. That makes women all kinds of angry/jealous to hear about another woman.
 
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Goonigoogoo

Goonigoogoo

Active Member
Nov 30, 2004
14,715
So Friday night's date went so well that i cancelled my Saturday's date and will be cancelling my lunch date today. The girl i went out with on Friday asked me out to a movie on Saturday night. We went to see Contagion, held hands 1/2 through the movie and never let go :) I feel like a teenager again.
 

IslanderOffRoad

Do you even lift kit?
Dec 23, 2003
82,164
Houston, Tx
So Friday night's date went so well that i cancelled my Saturday's date and will be cancelling my lunch date today. The girl i went out with on Friday asked me out to a movie on Saturday night. We went to see Contagion, held hands 1/2 through the movie and never let go :) I feel like a teenager again.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket so fast with online dating.
 

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