Need some advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by metalfan111, Sep 6, 2006.

  1. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I've never been good with the women. I'm 17 years old and I've never had a GF. I always thought I was pretty decent looking, but nothign ever happened for me. I'm really shy and when I'm nervous, I'm really boring to talk to.

    This weekend, my boss set me up to work at the same time with this other cute girl, hoping we will talk and maybe go out. She set us up to work on oneof the slowest parts of the day so we will have time to talk.

    I've seen pics of this girl and she is very cute. I'd love to get to know her and stuff.

    The thing is, I'm very shy. I don't talk much and I never know what to say, and in this situtation, its going to be very hard because I'll be very nervous.

    I know just say stuff like whats up and go from there, but I never know how to keep a converstaion going. I have a very deep, boring, unemotional voice so it's hard to keep your attention.

    I really want this to work out between us. I know this question is pretty broad, but I'm just asking for advice on what to do and what to say. Thanks.
     
  2. LordOvenMitt

    LordOvenMitt New Member

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    Don't go to work assuming you will fall in love with this girl. Let her talk to you first, if you are too nervous to speak first. Just relax and think of her as a co-worker instead of a potential SO. If you realize you are boring, etc. then change. It may be hard, but try to come up with an interesting topic. Ask about school, movies, current events, music, whatever. Anything simple to keep a conversation going. Don't be nervous, or at least try to keep it under control as much as possible.
     
  3. Brigante

    Brigante i'm a lurker without an avatar, deal with it

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    a good joke is always a nice icebreaker. make it something you both can relate to such as work for example. that's the one thing you know you both have in common so it's a better start than trying to get with some random girl. by the time you've both shared all your stories about work, you should feel comfortable enough to talk about other stuff. good luck
     
  4. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    id go with this since you are nervous
     
  5. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    You could always try being direct, if the opportunity presents itself.

    "I was really looking forward to working with a pretty girl like you, but I'm also kinda nervous because you are so pretty and nice..."

    Honest vulnerability...it's why we can't resist taking care of puppies...they just beg to be cared for. Just make sure you don't STAY the puppy. Use it to get things going and show her what a wonderful, attentive guy you could be if you just had the opportunity to practice on someone. Always treat her like a lady.
     
  6. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Great approach. Makes you look good for taking a step, makes you a bit intriguing, and you also throw in an underlying complement that may really blow their mind. Really depends on the type of woman though, some women may see that statement as weakness in a man. Just do what you do, fuck anyone that tells you to do it different. There is no RIGHT way.
     
  7. kilamasta

    kilamasta New Member

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    Very dangerous though in my opinion. You need to somehow contradict this with your body language.

    Sound kinda desesperate//needy, no?
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i don't see this guy successfully pulling off a neg/dhv/kinoescalation sequence... this could be desparate/needy but it could also be extremely endearing, especially since he's decent looking. just being like "hey what school do you go to what weather do you like what ..." seems like a much worse approach.
     
  9. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    .25, yea i guess that will work...damn tolerance.

    You will have game, but make sure you write down the number cause you may not remember it later :rofl:

    xanax > * when it comes to loosing inhibitions though.
     
  10. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Do fun stuff. Challenge her to a thumb war, totally kick her butt, and tease her about it. "I bet my grandma could have beat you in that thumbwar."
     
  11. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I was looking at her myspace (im not stalking her, I came across her profile while looking at my friends) and she says shes shy also and doesn't talk much when she meets new people. says that people usually give up on her before she has time to get comfortable and talk more. according to her profile, she is very social, but is very shy when she meets new people.
     
  12. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :bowdown: :bowdown: Hell yes. That is quite the amazing line to get FUCKING FRIEND ZONED the second you open your mouth and speak.
     
  13. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    Also, we can only work together 1 time a month, so I won't be seeing her much. Should I change my approach because I won't see her much or what?
     
  14. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    quote bump!
     
  15. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    You only need a few hours to get her extremely attracted to you. Well, for experts I guess... but just make sure to have a fun night, and bring her out of her shell. Play tag ffs... just be a cool fun kid. At the end of the evening hand her a piece of paper and say "Hey... write down your phone number for me". Proceed to call her and have more fun evenings with her.
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    the more nervous you are, the more completely ignoring her will work in your favor.

    Initially, she may assume she is higher on the "attraction scale" than you. But its amazing how showing complete disinterest in a girl can get them interested in you. Don't be rude, be very professional, but have an attitude that you are there to get the work done, then you are on with the rest of your life.

    Be all business. Only give her the amount of attention required to get the job done. When you are done for the day, get the hell out of there. You can even tell her as you leave "Going to do [whatever] with my friends, see you later!"

    Get her thinking about you. Then the tables may start to turn and she will be obsessing about you the way you are about her. Treat her like she is no big deal and you will have the best chance at getting her interested in you (the flip side of this is the more you treat her like a big deal, the less your chance of getting her attracted). And by the time she is interested, you will have more information about her. Who cares if she's cute? You may know within the first hour of meeting her that you don't want to work with her, much less date her. Don't put any pressure on yourself to perform for her. If you do, you will fail.

    I'm sure none of this makes sense to you logically, but trust me, to the female brain, it works like magic.

    Just make sure not to submit yourself to her. When you do have to interact with her, your eye contact is very important as is your body language. Remember, most of our communication is non-verbal.
     
  17. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    that sounds a little demanding, i always though i would say something like so do you wanna do somethin later? but if it works, then i guess ill do it
     
  18. Marimekko

    Marimekko wehh

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    so true. being overly eager/talkative is a big turn off for most girls (at least in my opinion)..and will most likely put you in a friendzone. she won't see you as a guy, but as one of her girlfriends.

    good luck:wavey:
     
  19. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    well ill only see her like once a month, i dont want to wait foever to talk to her. id like to make something happen the first time if its possible.

    we have a lot of times where there is nothing to do and we just sit around, it will extrememly akward if i dont talk to her.

    this is so fucking confusing. i was always told the hardest part is starting the convo and that talking and shit is great, now you are telling me to completely ignore her?
     
  20. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: This man speaks the truth.
     
  21. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    dont put her on a pedastel. make her work for your love ;)
     
  22. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    ok the advice is great everyone! some people are saying that i should talk to her, while others are saying i should completely ignore her. i kinda described how she is, shy and all. so even though i see her once i month, i should ignore her? is it possible to have anything done the first day? i really don't want to wait months to see if it will work out. if it matters, there are a few formal dances coming up soon, like homecoming and shit
     
  23. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    and to let everyone know, it all goes down on sunday at 11
     
  24. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    lol, man you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. the exact attitude you should have going in is "i dont really give a shit what happens."

    because to be quite honest, why should you give a shit what happens?

    you should just bullshit around with her all day long and have some fun. you are going into this saying I really want this to work out between us. You dont even have anything with this girl yet ! You dont even really know how she is! Quit setting yourself up to fail and set yourself up to have fun. Because in the end it only really matters if you had a good time during a boring day at work. This girl could be a total fucking bore.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i don't think you're going to be able not to give a shit what happens and, responding to a different post, you don't need to ignore someone to show that you have high social value. there are ways of doing this without repressing your actual desires to such a degree.

    there's a lot of ways things can go wrong or go right, but the most important thing anyone here will tell you is that you have to approach. nothing will happen especially with a shy girl if you don't approach. if, when you approach, you manage to deliver an open, self-satisfied expression of attraction, then it will be a positive experience. at any rate, just approach.

    try not to have generic interest. all you know about her is that she's pretty. if you are SOOO excited that her name is Barbie, OMG, Barbie!? Wow! Then you are not axlly interested in her, you are interested in women generally. try to give her space to show that she's interesting. if she's really boring then you won't be intimidated anyways.

    that flat voice thing should be axlly fixed, with $$$. throw whatever money around u need to to get a speech therapist or whatever. don't worry about it with this girl but set up an appointment with somebody today, at least just to see what it would cost.
     

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