need some major input here please

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Redliner567, Jun 15, 2005.

  1. Redliner567

    Redliner567 Well-Known Member

    May 5, 2001
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    St. Louis
    I been dating my gf for a year and three months and love her alot and i care about her, but it all seems its going to fast. I dont know why its getting to me now but it has. Alot of it has to do with when she starts talking about the futre and her plans with me. I feel the same way but i want to concentrate on the now and my oppurtunities. It feels like were already engaged.

    Im only 21 yo and a college athlete and i feel like ive got alot of living to do. I really do see myself having a future with this girl, but i dont want it to be "all planned out".

    She planning on going to the college with to the college im transferring to and i just dont know about it.

    What should i do to "un-serious" things. I dont want to lose her but i want some more freedom. :dunno:
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2005
  2. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Dec 28, 2004
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    Another reality apparently
    Once you get where you are, there is no going back without some pain. Thats why people always say take it slow!

    Also if you are worried about her planning everything out, well I would say 8 out of 10 girls in a long term relationship will do that. Most every girl I talk to that see's themselves with thier SO forever has everything planned out. Thats just the thought process that goes on in a female brain.

    If you want to be with her and only her, then why does it bother you that she is planning on your future together? Unless you have plans on dropping her and being with someone else for a bit? Other than that what living fo you want to do that you cant do without her?
  3. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

    Jul 26, 2004
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    Tell her that you can't wait, but you're even more excited about the here and now.
  4. JohNny T

    JohNny T Guest

    A year and 3 months is a pretty long time... sit down and talk to her.... jw, what ARE her plans? You just need to talk to her and tell her how you really feel..

    just be like "I like your ideas and plans, but let's focus on here and now and see where things take us. Sponteneous things are better then planned things (it's not always true but it is usually in relationships) and I think that we will be better off if we DON'T make any future plans for now"

    or just tell her how you REALLY <b>honestly</b> feel... the truth hurts but if she's wanting to make all these plans and she's not gonna support you or YOUR ideas, then that's a prob...

    I dunno what to tell you, my gf supports me and and I support her, everything seems to be working really well :) .... but things fall apart if there's probs...

    She wants to transfer to your college? or to the college YOUR going to? I don't see that as a prob, as long as you can have your space and your "my" time... ya know?

    GL with that though, let us know and keep us posted...
  5. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

    Nov 13, 2001
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    What do you consider un-serious?

    Several things come to mind here. Unfortunately, women do have to be cognizant of child bearing years. As much as they can do now with fertility clinics, it's still better to have kids in your 20s. So if you don't want to be behind the 8 ball all the time, you need to get established.

    Does that mean all work and no play? Does that mean you have to be serious and never spontaneous? Does that mean you can't go out with your buddies and go on binges and party?

    I would hope not, but again, unfortunately, too many young women think these are bad things. Looking back, I think it's really important to live it up, get it out of your system before you're 28 or so. And then it also doesn't mean you give it up completely, but it's less frequent and certainly more of an occassional than status quo.

    I guess what I am really saying is that you need balance. And if you see your life with this girl, then there is no time like the present to start negoitating on how to compromise.

    Now, if you mean un-serious, that you want to get jiggy with other girls, well, I can't help you on that one.

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