I just admitted to someone for the first time how I was attempting to kill myself last year and now everything and all of my feelings are coming back. I've never told anyone from last year about this before now. Last year I didn't go out with friends at all and just stayed home on weekends because I was so depressed. Never told anyone and never did anything about it. I can't even admit it to myself how sad I was. About to cry hella now Now I'm normal enough and have friends but still not a lot of friends. This weekend I think I got more into my normal friends group more though. idont even know what i'm saying. basically we're "e-friends" [stfu] and he lives nearby but never met...we both have issues with ourselves (colorblind, deaf, blood problems, kidney problems, parent issues / adoption) and tons of othe rstuff is shared between us. i dont know why but i asked him if he ever gets mad about all of it and then told him i tried to kill myself last year i was so sad. told him everything. just drinking at my house and taking pain killers (vicodin, advil, aspirin, codeine) and then i stopped and just left my house, drove to a parking lot and layed in the back of my car crying and then sleeping for 15 or some hours. got home and acted like nothing ever happened. now all of the feelings i was feeling last year are coming back. hopelessness, emptiness. i feel like life isn't fair and i shouldn't have to deal with all of my physical problems while others dont have to. all of my friends are blind to my problems as i dont share my emotions at all and am constantly faking how i feel and when i do feel something i dont know how to express it in words. basically. help or anything. i dont want to feel like shit anymore or i'll lose it this time. i'll do anything, go anywhere i just need help.