SRS observation

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Jul 17, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Sep 8, 2004
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    The way I've interacted with people in my family and with friends most of the time, I haven't held back from aggression. Neither have they. It just didn't bother us. If someone was mad, it was just like, ok, big deal. If they piss you off, you tell them off. Whatever, not that serious ... people get in fights, screaming matches, sometimes they're just not particularly polite, and you reciprocate, and then it's done.

    The girl I'm with right now can barely deal with it if I give her a cold look or an angry gesture when I get mad about something - so I don't. All anger just comes from hurt anyways; that having been acknowledged, I've trained myself so that when something upsets me (regarding her), I express vulnerability, instead of dangerousness. It's been an interesting exercise in behavioral modification and it's honestly not that hard now that I'm used to it.

    However, I do still sometimes find it refreshing to talk to people who can express anger and who can deal with anger. So fuck you. ;)
  2. bigballofyarn

    bigballofyarn OT Supporter

    Apr 24, 2004
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    New Jersey
    Everyone deals with anger differently. I personally don't ever get to the point where I have to yell/scream/curse at anyone. I tend to write a lot, and writing gets out a lot of what I'm feeling. So by the time I rewrite it all (think it through again) I'm usually fine. I'm not saying you have to do this, I'm just sharing with you what I do.

    If your expression of anger bothers your lady, you're going to have to respect that if you plan on staying with her for a long period of time. You might have to control your temper around her, but don't hold it in to the point where you'd explode on some innocent person. Search for other ways of dealing with your anger if you're going to be around her. But if it's SHE that's pissing you off a lot, why be with her?

    Do you enjoy being angry? Or is it something that comes naturally that you've grown to deal with?

    As long as you feel relieved and okay in the end, then I suppose your current method is fine. Do what makes you happy.
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Jun 6, 2006
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    Oh man...fuck this thread!!! :bash: family was a lot like yours. Interesting that you express vulnerability as that is probably much more honest then the anger.

    I've always believed that anger is just a secondary emotion and the primary emotion is fear. When I get angry, I ask myself what is it about this situation that I'm afraid of. It really torques my brain because anger is outward focused but fear is inward focused.

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