LOVE Old relationship habits

mistergixter

New Member
Jun 20, 2008
209
So I have been out of the game for since March. I am finding that I am returning to tendencies from my old relationship when it comes to phone calls. I am the type of person who appreciates a phone call back when I give a girl a call at a decent time of night. I used to talk to my ex every night, no matter what.

With this new girl that I am dating, I want to talk to her a lot and the conversation leads me to believe that she does as well. Her actions do not lead me to believe this. This new girl is 27, so she is experienced and may have a different attitude towards this. I am making a big deal of this, or does this sound reasonable?

She did ask me if it bothers me if she doesn't get back to me at night, I danced around the subject and kind of said no, it is just appreciated if you do get back to me in that fashion. So shall I let it go, bring it up or just take it as it goes.

Now, I am in regret a little of not talking to the pretty brunette who engaged me at the Verizon store. I was worried I think about attempting to talk to two women at the same time and losing 2 at the same time instead of one. Oh well, hindsight it 20/20.
 

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,186
Lakeview
I used to have a big problem with this because I couldn't understand how it was so hard to pick up the phone and call someone. I'll say this used to eat me up alive. I'd encourage you to have options open instead of focusing on one girl at a time. When I got busier in my personal life and in business, I stopped making phone calls a priority. If you had that other girl to talk to while you were "waiting" for the one girl to call, you wouldn't have felt as bad. One night for example I texted about 5 girls that I wanted to hear from that night. Two responded and another one did the next night. And if I don't have anyone to talk to, I'll keep myself busy. One of the worst forms of self torture is preoccupying yourself with the need for a returned phone call. It's pretty sad and girly. I've other issues from my past relationships, but this is one I can say I've conquered.
 

kiri

New Member
Mar 15, 2006
25,139
Miami, FL
some people don't like talking on the phone :dunno:

when my bf and i were long distance we made an effort to talk on the phone, but when we lived near each other our phone calls consisted of "wanna come over?" and either "sure" or "i can't". if it were up to either of us we'd never talk on the phone to each other.
 

BrinkofSanity

i hate talking on the phone. when me and my girl started dating she would hate how i would sound rushed to get off.

she was upfront about it... and i was upfront about my stance. once we both understood eachother it was all good.

you had your chance to bring it up. but of course you still can. call her and tell her "you know how i said it does not bother me when you dont call back? well that's not really true. blah blah blah.....".
 

vodkacollins

New Member
Apr 2, 2008
1,777
CdM, CA
be honest with her. she may not understand that her actions bother you as much as they do.

when my SO first started traveling, it was hard for us to get in sync with our phone calls because of the time zone differences. he would go without calling sometimes because he didnt want to wake me in the middle of the night. i told him i prefer to hear from him, no matter what the time. if i wouldnt have said it, he never would have known.
 

chica&buddies

Active Member
Apr 11, 2001
13,586
lovely orlando
direct communication ftw!

relationships won't work if you're not open with the other person. :( she even brought it up, and you chickened out!! :squint: tell her you need to be honest, and that you would appreciate a phone call at the end of the night. if, at that point, she's not comfortable with the idea, [ie she may think it's smothering? :dunno:] you two can compromise. :)
 

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