It was eleven years ago. I was dead inside, numb drinking the last of a half gallon of vodka. It did not even get me drunk. I could feel nothing but wanting the mental anguish and pain to stop. I craved for death. You see what I was doing was wrong and I knew it. There was no hiding place. I was addicted. I had no way to stop yet stop I must. I had gone to AA for a few months and the head full of knowledge and belly full of booze did not mix. So on this day in 1993 I made a choice. Recovery was everything or it was nothing. I had to try working the steps and go to ninety meeting in ninety days. To work the steps I needed to get a sponsor and do what he told me to do. After all I tried to just half ass fuck around and here I was wanting to die. So there was a fork in the road by the last house on the block. Surrender to darkness or go into that house and try to find a higher power that could restore me to sanity. I went into that house and found others there like me. They know what I had been thru. I am humbled by the thought of this day. You see I could not have done this on my own. It was true the help of my brothers and sisters in the group and a higher power that did for me what I could not do for myself. Yes this day I remember and am grateful.