Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Sep 23, 2007.
What shaped your sexuality?
Answer however. I will do mine after a few responses
What shaped mine? Hmm.
I am not sure what you're asking, but I recently "bloomed" sexually. I recently had a massive weightloss, so that kind of "helped". It's been a slow process, but gosh... since December, i've grown.
No one will understand (including me) until you explain further what you are even asking. Maybe give your example...now.
I'll answer more fully once more people do.
Right, but IMO there is nothing to 'understand'. There are a million ways of answering the question. Just respond however you see fit.
I more mean no one is really going to get what you are looking for in an answer. So why not just start?
You are so pessimistic
I'd really prefer people to come up with whatever rather than model off of ... whatever i come up with. However do not proceed if you do not find it fun
ok, i think honestly what helped shape the sexuality i have now is growing up in a very divided family... i had one side of crazy-christian family members making me feel awkward and uncomfortable about my own body, like it was something to hide... and another side whoring it up, getting knocked up and abortioned and knocked up again and wearing slutty shit everywhere, etc.
so all of that kind of shaped up the way i viewed sexuality. i hated both sides because they were so extreme, so i sort of found this balance. i was never afraid to talk about my sexual experiences or feelings or thoughts to anyone who was interested in listening, but on the same token i was very guarded and picky about what acts i did and with who.
so over the years a lot of people who didn't know me very well probably took me as a slut, even though i didn't sleep around, i was just very open about everything.
lol, I'm not being pessimistic, silly. I just have no idea what you are even asking for. The best kinds of thread IMO are the one's where the poster asks a question and then sets the tone by giving their opinion. Just asking a brief unexpressive question and saying their opinion will come later after others have posted isn't very helpful. Just a thought
Edit: Glad she started^
in for everyone else's posts.
just a shot in the dark but... are you drunk JJJ?
ok, i will go
i would say my sexuality was shaped a lot by my father.
my father was someone who took over the room he was in. he had a knack for people.
he showed a lot of sides. i think showing a lot of sides made people comfortable, while impressing them at the same time.
for example, he'd express savage, frightening rage. macho, manly, ridiculous rage is completely alien to many of the people in this forum. it's usefulness is completely alien to them. (including MattThomas, I wager).
for example, my dad bragged, and showed humility, and vulnerability... expressed withering damnations as well as compliments that people would remember (and repeat out loud) for ages afterwards. often, all of this within the same five minutes.
my father wore his emotions on his sleeve. he LOVED people (for their talents, kindness, lots of things). he HATED people. he was passionate about, also legendary with women. he worked as an extemporaneous speaker, which just means he could speak without knowing his speeches in advance.
my sexuality has come in three phases. phase one, then the transitional phase, and now i'm somewhere in the third phase. but it is phase one that really shaped my sexuality.
phase one was ANGST. in high school i was tormented by a passionate, shameful lust for many beautiful girls, all of whom i craved, ALL of whom i deemed firmly out of reach. that is because i had horrible social anxiety. (although i didn't know it at the time.) i developed a facial twitch from the amount of social anxiety i experienced.
i can't begin to express how bad it felt, being this way, in contrast to the man my father was. i called myself a "friendless faggot". i hated myself. when i was alone and passed a mirror, i would make a hideous face and impersonate a gay man in self-hatred.
the first week of college, i kissed a girl for the first time, at the age of 18. i was her first kiss. i became her boyfriend.
i told my new girlfriend that i loved her within the first week. i lied outright. i just wanted to lose my virginity. in fact, i never loved her. but i had been SO painfully alone for so long, and i had been so convinced of my own ineptitude at getting with women, that i clung to this girl for a YEAR.
and even though the whole point of the lie was to lose my virginity... that entire time, i never had sex with her. a year of this.
finally i couldn't stand the lie anymore. i ended it with her, as it happens, on the night of our anniversary.
i would say that is the bulk of what has shaped my sexuality. as you all know i eventually found out about pick-up and it helped me make sense of a lot of things, and it helped me get with a few beautiful women, and it's on pause right now because i fell in love with one of those beautiful women.
that is how i'm answering the question but any answer is good.
can i ask questions about this
in a nutshell? other than biology of just ending up hetero?
sexually frustrating first relationship
edit: and i'm a middle child.
it's your thread it would be pretty hard to stop you
how did middle child come into it?
Being so well respected by my peers. It gave me the confidence to act out what I actually wanted, instead of just lying there.
The fact that i'm so in control, it makes me like to be dominated on occassion.
Being masturbatory/sexually curious at a really young age.
Hitting puberty early, getting attention from older men at a young age.
My subtle attraction to women, which I notice before I was attracted to men.
i'm sure middle child syndrome permutates into one's sex life. submissive? drive to stand out? to please?
notice, it was after some thought that it came to mind, whereas the others were instantaneous.
hmm...i've always been interested in how ones upbringing plays into this.
I've never really studied up much on the 'middle child syndrome.' Perhaps I should put some thought into it.
I'm the oldest of three(ish) and I know that has a lot to do with my general world-view.
two girls have formed the majority of my sexuality. one girlfriend i just grew sexually so much with. i was good at oral, and that brought us to try anything and everything and i played out more fantasies and pushed more envelopes and started getting into power play and bondage (light) more. then the next girl i was with for a lil while loved hardcore BDSM type play, hardcore bondage, rough slapping, ordered around, etc etc. allowed me to play out/forced me to play out an almost aggressive caveman point of view, and she loved it. opened my eyes to what women were really receptive to/could be receptive to.
outside of that, cosmo was a big influence for awhile about sexual interactions and techniques as was the internet.
Along the same line: did the peson (or people) who you had your first repeated sexual experiences with shape your sexuality at all?
as far as i can tell, no girl (or nothing on a conscious level) shaped my sexuality. however my first love definetely left a mark on what type of girl i'm attracted to
I married the chick I was dating since I was 18. Although she's wonderful and I wouldn't change anything, I know life would be different if I was single at university/beyond. It's difficult to imagine the "single" perspective for both me and her. I think she's sexually spoiled somewhat... like why try? He's always there. PUA research has helped quite a bit in the past few years. I also swear that getting circumsized at 2 years old was sexually significant dispite not remembering anything.