*Notice: I don't want this to be triggering to anyone in anyway, but I can't promise it won't be. Just be careful guys* So how are you guys doing lately? I know a few of you were seeking treatment/recovery- how's that going? I'm having a shitty time trying to keep my ED in check lately. In fact, its really getting bad these past few weeks. Maybe its summer coming up. I dunno. But, against my better judgment, I did go buy a new scale last week. Obviously I knew what was going to happen, yet somehow I convinced myself I'd be fine with one in the apt. Not one of my better decisions- but at the same time, I know i won't get rid of it any time soon. So, question for you all- I was thinking about it all when I was in the shower the other day (I do a lot of thinking in the shower) and we've all heard people talk about how Eds are about control, not food. blah blah blah. But I don't think that's necessarily true. I control my entire life and sometimes wish I didn't have to. I feel like mine is about punishment more than anything else. I don't feel like I deserve the food. So, my question to you- what's behind your ED? Why do you do it?