I really just need somebody to tell me everything is going to work, and for me to somehow believe it... Its not that I really have a bad life, its quite good actually...I have 2 awesome roommates, a pretty sweet girlfriend, a job that I absolutely love (I'm a paramedic) and make good money at, and a promising future. Which is why I don't know why I really feel like just ending it all. I feel like God has rejected me, I constantly have a tape of my failures running through my head, I feel like my friends only want to be around me when I have something that they need/ want, I have no confidence and feel like everything I do is a mistake. And when I try to talk to somebody about it real life I feel like a complete idiot and internalize everything and shut down. This is how its been for the past 10 years, and now I just can't deal with it anymore. I honestly can't see to 2 days from now, the pain is just do great. I know they'll come, since I'm too much of an idiot to actually successfully kill myself, I just don't see how they will. Has anybody else ever dealt with this? I have no idea what it is, i just know I want it to end. Now.