ok this is my 1st post after reading these forums for a long time. i am a 19 yr old male. i have never been good at meeting girls, but one day i meet this girl off the internet and i was keen for her obviously. i was happy i had someone not really caring who she was. we had sex on the 3rd date, and havent stopped bar acouple of nights for about 3 months now. i dont find her attractive and i would much prefer to be with someone else but i dont want to be alone and i enjoy all the sex. i smoke weed everday and use other drugs quiet frequently and i think that has something to do with my irrational behaviour and selfishness. b4 i had a girl i always went to the nude beach and masturbated in the bushes as women walked past and i got off from that and still do. she is head over heels for me and always telling me i love u etc, and i know it will end one day, i just fucked in the head and wont end it b/c i am a selfish barsted. will i be like this all my life or am i just in need or some seriuos counciling or should i just kill myself now.