LOVE PDA at work

[BTCollins]

Not sure if this has ever came up in discussion here but how do you guys (who are in a relationship or have been) feel about PDA in a work environment?

I have been seeing a guy for about a year and half now and this has came up maybe 2 or 3 times. He knows a lot of the people I work with and likes to show up at my office unannounced with gifts or take me to lunch. While I love the idea and general kindess of this, it puts me into a super awkward position to deal with. Im out to my friends and family but I feel like I need to keep my personal life away from my work life and when he's here it feels like theres a huge elephant in the room and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I explained to him that I don't want this to happen because I still feel that regardless of what my superiors say, I will still be judged about my orientation when it comes to my work performance and he doesn't understand what I mean and is pretty upset with me right now.

TL;DR - Am I an asshole for not wanting to advertise that I am gay at work? Does anyone else do this?

 

[Sam Gamgee]

I'm out of the closet at work so I wouldn't mind (when I was in a relationship) when he stopped by. I'd give him a hug or a quick kiss as he left. But, it was never blatant (just as I'd hope that a straight couple wouldn't be blatant about PDA's at work)

But, plenty of people get flowers at work. If I got flowers at work, it'd be a non-issue since everyone knows.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

I should add that I'm a civil engineer... and engineers, as a rule, are straight, white, men who aren't comfortable with people who are different. Many times there has been uncomfortable laughter from someone in the office when I say or do something overtly gay (like wear a Wonder Woman snuggie at Christmas that my Secret Santa got me).

But, I guess that since I have no shame about that side of my life, I never feel the need to feel second-class about my relationship at work.