I really don't know what's wrong with me so please bear with me... Growing up I was picked on ALOT. I was one of the poorest girls who couldn't afford the latest designer coat in Catholic School and then in high school I refused to get involved in sex and drugs so I was the outcast. I had very few friends. In fact, I barely talked to anyone. I believed their lies about me-- that I was a freak. I don't even know what that means. I was normal looking and well behaved. One girl disliked me so much in middle school that she told everyone on the bus not to let me sit next to them because of some unknown reason and that was really mean. Somewhere, down deep it's in my sub-concious and it still pains me to this day. Now as an adult I have tried to fight this and have been trying to convince myself that I am fine but it's not working out well. I have a hard time communicating with people. When they make eye contact with me I think to myself "They really want you to shut up. You're making an ass out of yourself." This is starting to affect my work and I'm really scared. Please help.