The past several weeks have been the most difficult in my life. I've learned so much about myself, seen so many places where my attitude has been atrocious where I have let my insecurities get the best of me, where I have hurt the love of my life unintentionally through small things adding up as well as several large things... where I must have seen inconsiderate, critical, impatient and pushy. I've tried for the past 2 weeks, I've poured my heart out. I've begged and pleaded on my knees, I've told her I loved her, where I was too afraid to do so before. She is a very sensitive, very quite 'cancer'... and I can be a blunt often emotionally unintelligent Sagittarius. I've often misunderstood her quiteness, often jumped to conclusions without giving her the patience and comfort she deserves as woman. She said she was falling in love with me. Now she said it was too much and she could not put herself through it agan.. I kissed her, she froze up and cried. She got cold, she's protecting herself and isn't sure how she feels about me. She got out of a bad marriage before me, and never wants to go back to that place of pain. I want to change, I know I can... I've seen all the things I've done wrong, it's just I'm lost right now as to what to do. It seems when I give her space I do it at the wrong times, and it seems when I push I do so at the wrong times. I need help, preferrably from women and women who've experienced this. I packed up all her things that night, it hurt me too much looking at them, she said 'what is this an excorcism?' it must have hurt her... I msg'd her last morning saying "I don't resent what you did, I understand. I will hold a pace in my heart for you for as long as I can bear the pain, good luck little brave crab" , to which she replied "U made me happier than you can ever imagine, thank you".... I don't know what she refers to, maybe she means because I don't resent her. I know she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. She said she still has feelings for me, but she cannot deal with the pain and she doesn't believe I will change, she thinks it's just me. I know however I will change, I know my negative qualities and I will do anything to prove it and to give her what she needs. I'm lost now, should I not call her at all... Should I give her a weeks full space? its so hard for me... All I want to do is call her and see how she's donig.. hear her voice. I was thinking maybe next week, if I do not call her, I will show up at her place with a letter of all the things I have realized, provide more concrete examples of where I know I went wrong and how I know I need to change. I bought an amble and I was thinking of putting some pictures of all the great times we've had in it to give to her as well. I don't want to be too pushy though, I want to show her I am patient, and that I am here... that I will fight.... I'm often impatient, blunt you know, hot headed (fire sign) I tend to jump the gun and be pushy... I know she needs the opposite. Please help. I think my problem is I've been pushy and forceful... even up until the break up, pleading and begging you know when it's too late when you've already hurt her, seems foolish.... I know she didn't want to break it off, she told me all she wanted was to be happy with me. How do I show her patience, but that I'm here and that I care. Should I not bring things up, should I simply contact her once in a while to be myself, to see how she is, take it easy? Should I make myself hard to get and unavailable?