Pro Tip if you are having a colonoscopy

Mammoth

I should be working.
OT Supporter
Jun 2, 2005
26,606
Michigan
The real pro tip is to schedule your colonoscopy on a Friday. That way, you have the entire weekend to recover.
 

dorkultra

OT Supporter
Oct 14, 2005
27,784
nilbog, trollhio
Didn't have those. I was awake in the recovery room for like 5 mins before I left.

Felt like an assembly line so hopefully they did mine right :rofl:
when i was being wheeled down the hallway, there was a hand written sign on at least 4 rooms showing my docs name with the colonscopy scheduled 15 mins apart.
hope they clean or replace the scope equipment well enough between procedures
 

Mammoth

I should be working.
OT Supporter
Jun 2, 2005
26,606
Michigan
lol why not burn your sick days?
The TS said he had it done yesterday and was working today. He offered a protip of wearing two pairs of boxers to work the next day. Seeing as he obviously didn't want to burn a sick day, telling him to use one seemed pointless.
 

I<3URANUS

I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
OT Supporter
Sep 17, 2002
46,263
Dallas, TX
when i was being wheeled down the hallway, there was a hand written sign on at least 4 rooms showing my docs name with the colonscopy scheduled 15 mins apart.
hope they clean or replace the scope equipment well enough between procedures
Especially if an endoscopy is next!
 
  • Barf
Reactions: dorkultra
TS
TS
Bill The Butcher

Bill The Butcher

OT Supporter
Nov 28, 2004
65,190
Chicago(land)
My colonoscopy was uneventful. But on the way home, my stomach started hurting like crazy.
I got home and lay down. Still big-time pain.

Then, I let out a fart that was maybe 90 seconds long. And all the pain went away.

THE END

Had more diarrhea after work and then uncorked a massive fart so hope that is the last of it.
The gift that keeps giving.
 
TS
TS
Bill The Butcher

Bill The Butcher

OT Supporter
Nov 28, 2004
65,190
Chicago(land)
Thanks for the tip. I'm 45yo and I need to get this done.

The worst part for me was not being able to eat real food, being weak from that on top of getting like 2.5 hours of sleep.
Just a long miserable time.

Another pro tip - schedule the first available appt no matter how early it is, you'll be up anyways. Mine was originally at 8 then the Dr changed so pushed back to 9.
Arrive at 8. Wait 45 mins to even get to the room. Misery. Can't even think straight at that point.
 

Buckwild

Well-Known Member
Mar 15, 2000
3,185
SoCal
The worst part for me was not being able to eat real food, being weak from that on top of getting like 2.5 hours of sleep.
Just a long miserable time.

Another pro tip - schedule the first available appt no matter how early it is, you'll be up anyways. Mine was originally at 8 then the Dr changed so pushed back to 9.
Arrive at 8. Wait 45 mins to even get to the room. Misery. Can't even think straight at that point.
Why was it miserable waiting? Just the sheer anticipation making you anxious? Or you just hate waiting in general?

So what were you eating then? And for how long must you eat that? Thx
 
TS
TS
Bill The Butcher

Bill The Butcher

OT Supporter
Nov 28, 2004
65,190
Chicago(land)
Why was it miserable waiting? Just the sheer anticipation making you anxious? Or you just hate waiting in general?

So what were you eating then? And for how long must you eat that? Thx

The day before its all liquid diet.

The instructions they sent me:

1 DAY PRIOR to your procedure:

- Begin a “Clear Liquid Diet” from the time you wake up & continue this the entire day. No solid food the day prior to your procedure. Only clear liquids- see list below.


- Follow prep instructions on back of this page.

- Stay hydrated all day by drinking clear liquids every ½ – 1 hour between prep doses. Do not drink only water.

- If you are diabetic, take half of your usual dose of insulin or oral diabetic medication on this day.

Clear Liquid Diet Options-

- Sports drinks (clear, lemon-lime, orange) no red, blue or purple coloring

- Apple or white grape juice, soda with no red, blue or purple coloring

- Clear bouillon, clear broth

- Gelatin (yellow, green, orange) no red, blue or purple

- Fruit flavored popsicles that are not red, blue or purple

- Black coffee or clear tea with no creamer or cream substitutes

- Yellow, green, orange Kool-Aid or Crystal Light to flavor prep

NO DAIRY PRODUCTS

---------

Another protip: Ask to use Miralex/Gatorade instead of the nasty RX shit they will likely give you.

By that time I just wanted to get it the fuck over so it was annoying having to sit there for 45 mins. But yes next time won't be as bad bc I will know what to expect.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Buckwild

Buckwild

Well-Known Member
Mar 15, 2000
3,185
SoCal
---------

Another protip: Ask to use Miralex/Gatorade instead of the nasty RX shit they will likely give you.

By that time I just wanted to get it the fuck over so it was annoying having to sit there for 45 mins. But yes next time won't be as bad bc I will know what to expect.
Thanks for all the tips. Been so busy lately haven't had time to really do any research on this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bill The Butcher

B-Line

Stand Up Philosopher
OT Supporter
Mar 8, 2009
24,934
Los Angeles
when i was being wheeled down the hallway, there was a hand written sign on at least 4 rooms showing my docs name with the colonscopy scheduled 15 mins apart.
hope they clean or replace the scope equipment well enough between procedures
Dude… I had an endoscopy at the same time as my colonoscopy. That is when they go down your throat.

And you hope they cleaned the equipment. What about me?
 

victor77

Internet Crew
OT Supporter
Mar 13, 2011
50,514
Internets
Reminds me of when I was like 17 and had my appendix taken out. A hot candystripper chick who was about my age came in to help me get up to walk around a bit.... I tried to act cool but when I tried to stand up the hospital gown rode up and my dick and balls were out.

She looked embarrassed and I was like "man it's cold in here".

Never got her number.
 

SBrooks1

I Bomb Atomically
OT Supporter
Nov 28, 2002
77,815
Virginia
Dude… I had an endoscopy at the same time as my colonoscopy. That is when they go down your throat.

And you hope they cleaned the equipment. What about me?
giphy.gif
 
  • Haha
Reactions: mistergin

nosaj

OT Supporter
Nov 10, 2003
96,339
I had one yesterday and did a lot of reading on what to expect. One thing I didn't come across is you should not trust your farts afterwards.

I had mine yesterday and am currently at work wearing boxer briefs with a pair of boxers over top of them.

/protip
Sounds like years of abuse on your o ring.
 
  • Wow
Reactions: Bill The Butcher
TS
TS
Bill The Butcher

Bill The Butcher

OT Supporter
Nov 28, 2004
65,190
Chicago(land)
So we got a kitten Monday night. She's in our only bathroom until we are ready to unleash her with our established cat.

This morning I'm in there taking a shit and it was like a perfect tootsie roll husk poop. Without really thinking I flushed and it started to back up.

Sheer fucking panic bc we removed all the bathroom supplies including the plunger out for the kitten. It was touch and go for a second but then it magically swallowed it all up.

That would have been an absolute disaster :rofl: we got all kinds of kitten stuff in there for her.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

About Us

  • Please do not post anything that violates any Local, State, Federal or International Laws. Your privacy is protected. You have the right to be forgotten. Site funded by advertising, link monetization and member support.
OT v15.13.2 Copyright © 2000-2023 Offtopic.com
Served by fx.offtopic.com

Online statistics

Members online
336
Guests online
191
Total visitors
527

Forum statistics

Threads
79,489
Messages
7,747,066
Members
87,083
Latest member
abdallahppp6