Ok this is totally wierd but at the time time understandable... A little background ... the woman I'm dating got out of a very short, very shitty fling, not even relationship quality with a really shitty guy and I don't know how it happened but she is counts it as, "A Mistake". He was a true shithead and I think in the entire thing for purly sex, and to that I don't know if it ever happened and frankly I don't care as its the past. But since he was a shit head and I saw how he treated other women I vowed silently and in her presence that if I found out that he hurt her I would hunt him down and probably kill him. Fast foreward to this past week. Went to SC to visit her and setup a romantic night with candle lit rooms, wine, home cooked dinner, candle lit bath the whole nine yards. We fooled around, I to go down on her and like most nights I did it again. She hasn't really done anything for me, though before that night it wasn't a big deal I like to give more than I get. She only gave me a handjob once and she stopped just short of a happy ending She said that she wants to take her time with getting into the sex bit and I 100% respect that. I asked if she is ready to take it farther that night and she said she was but there were some issues... Saying that killed the rest of the mood so I asked her ... what kind of issues. Protection was one - ok understandable as I didn't have anything with me (d'oh), she would like a ring, but its not a big deal - ok... Then she dropped a bomb. She said, indirectly it was her ex (the asshole) and I outright said the name and she nodded in agreement and when i asked her to tell me she said she didn't want to because she will know how I will react. Now I respect her for choosing not to tell me but at the same time whatever happened is affecting our relationship now and its obviously something that is serious. Now go back to me giving more than I get back. As it isn't a big deal I think that whatever shithead did is related, just not sure how. I didn't speak of it for the rest of the time I was visiting and its not something I choose to talk about over the phone or the internet with her as it should be done in person. But... my questing to the Asylum .... How do I go about trying to find out what happened without going to her one friend who is also her confidant? Or even not the full story, just SOMETHING as to what happened..