I've been overweight my whole life. My mom would always watch what I ate and make me feel guilty for eating. At age 19 I was 6'3" 289lbs, My girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me on valentines day and self-esteem took a big hit. After that I started going to the gym to clear my mind and get myself right. After going for months I seen no results. One night after working out I went and got something to eat. My stomach must have been upset because I felt sick and threw up outside my car. That triggered something inside me I dont know if I liked it or looked at it as an easy solution. I have been bulimic for more then 3 years. Checking the scale after I eat anything, after I throw up, after I wake up and go to the bathroom. To my knowledge I have kept it from everyone in my family. It really effected the relationship that I had with my ex girlfriend. My current girlfriend, I told her that I was bulimic the third time that we met. I have been with her for a year and a half now. We don't really talk about what I do and when we do she usually breaks out in tears and tells me how worried she is. I should have been able to stop for her but I wasn't. 2 months ago I found out that she was pregnant and we are set to move in together in the next month or so. I feel like I have been doing this way too long and I wanna be there to see my child grow up. I would usually go to work and not eat all day. Then I would come home and binge eat then throw it all up. I have been doing the same lately by working all day and not eating then I go home and make a big salad(just lettuce and light dressing) to eat. I still find myself checking the scale religiously. I am trying to kick this but I am finding it difficult. Any thoughts or suggestions?????