i am having very suicidal thoughts right now because i am remembering and coming to terms with the really really horrible situation i had last year when i was raped (and which i tried to fight off) a few times by someone i was going out with. how do i get over this? i am usually very good with blocking things out. i don't know why tonight i am having these nasty feelings. it may have been the one raspberry margarita i had earlier? i am also remembering some other bad things about the relationship i had afterwards with someone else in which he ended up trying to go for my best friend. i've seen the school counsellor about my problems. but i haven't exactly followed up for progress since school has been out and it's been hard to get an appointment. do any of you out there have similar experiences? i feel so ashamed to have those nasty memories as a part of my history. i know i have a lot of supportive friends but at the same time i feel that they shun/criticize me because of my ugly past. especially since word gets around. i feel like i'm being looked down upon or that people can see how messed up i really am. i'd appreciate your thoughts and advice.