SRS Schizophrenia, anxiety and depression (success story :D)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by wik, Feb 23, 2005.

  1. wik

    wik New Member

    May 30, 2004
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    I had very much social anxiety from I was very little to I was 20.
    When I began boarding school in 2002 I had tons of social anxiety, but, after living with others a year I got tons of friends, and now I have next to no social anxiety anymore.
    When I got home from school I started to get panic attacks, I felt weird all the time, like the world was surreal whenever I walked outside.
    I started to get thoughts that everything was not quite as it seemed.

    I remember my first episode very well. I had eagerly awaited a new "Autechre" album, which is electronic music, and a friend of mine on irc said that I should watch winamp visualizations while listening to it to enhance the experience.
    I thought cool, and popped in the newly purchased CD.

    After 5 minutes of visualization watching, I got the weird feeling that it was manipulating my mind physically. I started to feel sick to my stomach.
    After 10 minutes I couldn't watch anymore it felt like my whole body was melting. I threw up all over the floor.
    I didn't even have a CLUE this was my first psychotic episode.

    Weeks went by, and I started to get the idea that my mom was putting poison or something in my food. I started to not eat her dinners because of it.
    I bought food from the store every chance I could get.
    She asked me several times why I weren't eating her dinners, and I replied that I just didn't like any of it.
    For 4 months I didn't eat a single dinner.

    During this period, I also got an idea that aliens or some unknown force was spying on me. I always felt like someone was watching over me, it was quite scary actually.
    This was from may 2003 to january 2004.
    In january 2004 I finally seeked out help because of my panic attacks and anxiety.
    After quite a few sessions with my doctor, I asked him what was wrong with me. And he told me all about schizophrenia.

    I didn't get on medication until march 2004 because I was too scared to take them, I thought they would kill me.

    Well anyway, I got on medication and therapy, and now a year later I'm almost symptom free and life is great.
    There's alot more to this story but I wanted to keep it short.

    Regardless, I had depression for a long time, I'm now off the zoloft and the depression is gone.
    Well almost anyway. It's all in the mind really, you just have to focus on what you have and what you enjoy.

    Anyway I just wanted to say nothing is impossible, you can get better, there's always a solution.
  2. Car

    Car New Member

    Feb 16, 2005
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    Thanks for the uplifting tale. It's good to hear. Good that you're doing well, and a hopeful tale for others who may not have gotten where you are yet. I guess the moral of this story is...keeping working on it, and get the help that you need.

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