Hope this is allowed! Name? James Age? 38 Gender? Male Ethnicity? White Religious Affiliation? Currently Agnostic. Raised by my parents who were Unitarians, so I went to Sunday school but never really got into it. I stopped going to church with them as we would ride our bikes 10 miles to the church (I kid you not) and I nearly got creamed by a car. I was in elementry school, so I cried and flat refused to ride on. My mom bitched at my dad for trying to get me to go anyway. I became Mormon temporarily when I fell in love with my highschool girlfriend and she would only marry me if I converted. Stupid idea, the Mormons excommunicated me a year later when she confessed to them we were having sex. She finally dumped me after we were having sex during the 1989 earthquake of San Francisco, and she thought it was God telling her to stop having sex. Siblings? One older sister, by five years. She's okay, but always lectured me and annoyed me. Ages of Siblings? Sister is 43. Where raised? Palo Alto, CA. Moved to Pasadena, CA for 4 years, then back to Palo Alto through high school. Level and place of education? Bachelors from Dominican University of California. Occupation? Sr. Internet and IT specialist. Hobbies? Reading mostly. I enjoy learning new things, typically about money, relationships, people, etc. I also love to go out and be social, so you'll find me out and about at least 2-3 times a week. I also enjoy racing cars (SCCA and the likes), building web-based businesses, and helping other men who are facing relationship difficulties. Sexual preference? I'm straight, but not a homo-phobe. Measurements? 6' 4" and about 165 pounds. Tall and thin. Best and worst experiences with SO's? Best: The current wife. We've been together for nearly 5 years, and it feels like a few weeks at most. Everything is new and fun. We make fun everywhere we go. Problems are rare, and when the crop up we get through them quickly and effectively. Worst: My string of failed relations with other women. There were so many mistakes that I made that I cannot pin it down to one. Most of my ex's cheated on me, and with good reason - I was pathetic. Looking back I can see all the mistakes I made, and I see those same mistakes in the stories of other guys. Fantasy Date? I'm a simple guy - I like a great steak or sushi, some strong drinks, some loud music, and some wild sex. Tell us about your childhood? I was constantly picked on and beaten up, which severely affected my self esteem. My parents were great, but somewhat absent. I was never beaten, no drug use, no alcohol, etc. I had a healthy allowance and bought plenty of toys to keep me busy. I had a few friends, and remember playing a lot of kick-the-can in our yard. Overall I give it a C-. As I have gotten older I realize that my childhood held me back for a long time. Many years ago I shook it off, so to speak. I really feel I have emerged from the shroud of childhood and have become an adult. It's amazing, and I cannot explain how, when, or why it happened, but being a true adult has helped me in many ways. What do you think contributed to your like/dislike of women or men? At first I obsessed about women, mostly because I could not get one. Then after a string of "bad women" I ended up hating them and completely writing them off. It was only after a few years of self improvement did I realize that the problem was me - I was immature and not fit for an adult relationship. Now I have changed and understand that people need to find the partner who best matches their needs and personality. Without that perfect fit, things will suffer. Best Relationship? As mentioned, my current one. Worst Relationship? My previous one, married to my ex-wife. I was with her for 11 years, married for 4 years, and never had the balls to dump her. Long story short, it was like I was living with a stranger and I was a ghost. It took me 10 years and 9 months to finally end it. I tried breaking up with her 3 months in, but did not have the spine to stick to my word. It went downhill from there. Are your siblings like you at all in their relationships? No. My sister is very naive, but also very happy. She has 3 kids, and still maintains a great sense of humor about it. For example, I told her I wanted to have kids soon and she said to me "Are you completely insane?" Then paused for about 10 seconds and said it again. It was great. How open minded are you? Very open minded. I'll try almost anything at least twice (just to make sure the first time wasn't a fluke!) Have you ever been involved in a 3some? Many. I've had more with my wife than anyone else, and they have done no harm to our relationship. However, in others they were a sign of dysfunction. What do you look for in another partner? I have a very long list, but items such as: Brunette Taller than 5' 7" or shorter than 5' 4" Thin and likely to stay that way Small waist Good sense of humor Sexually adventurous and a strong libido Non-smoker, non-drug user Good cook Clean person, enjoys a clean home Enjoys watching TV/DVD's at home Enjoys going out and partying, drinking Enjoys fast cars and racing with me Good with money Good with kids and pets Smart Not a bitch when under pressure Has a drivers license and a car Knows how to use a computer Can hold down a good job Helps out around the house etc. Do you think a persons promiscuity or lack there of has to do with their childhood? Nature versus nurture. Who knows? I don't know, and I don't really care. You are who you are. Have you used online sites for the reasons of getting sex or dates or both? Yes. One experience was interesting - I was on sparkmatch.com (way back in the days) and was browsing profiles (ala hot or not style) and one woman's profile had a tagline of "I love anal sex." I thought it was too outrageous to be true, so I sent her a message. This was, mind you, the only message I had ever sent to anyone. She replied and told me she was serious. I gave her mad shit because I totally did not believe her. Long story short, we ended up going out several times, we were both in relationships (me dating my ex-wife [before we were married, get it?], and her married. She ended up dumping her husband, which promptly scared me off. I never saw her again. She was 6' 2", blonde, thin, and quite stunning. What's your favorite body part of the opposite sex? Long thin legs, small breasts. Describe your type of partner? I already have, so I'll skip this... What type of partner you actually date? I'm very picky, and since I am married now I don't really date! Any words of advice for the Vag lurkers? For me, realizing that we are mostly immature is the best thing I can point out. I see so many guys who are 20-30 years old, and they have zero social skills. Instead, they spend days and nights playing computer games, working on their cars, or doing other things. Our parents seem to have never taught any of us how to become adults. As a result, we cannot balance a checkbook, we don't know how to invest money, we work like slaves for other people, and we suck at personal relationships. Had our parents taken the time to teach us how to be adults, we would be much better off. At this point, however, it is up to you to learn for yourself. Seek out those resources and BECOME and adult. Feel free to ask other questions.