sex buddy etiquette?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bjonesy77, May 7, 2008.

  1. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    So I don't think I've ever had a real friend with benefits type situation on my hands until now and wondered how it works. Obviously, we are friends who have sex, but what about all the normalities that are kind of a given when you are screwing your SO.

    Story: ex-girlfriend who I broke up with over 2 years ago and I are part of the same group of friends, so we see each other atleast every weekend if not more. Its fine, no problem, we are really cool with one another and get along well. So last night I get a random text at like midnight just starting smalltalk and I'm like WTF? Its bed time. I tell her I'm going to bed and she says ok I have one more question..."would you be up for getting together to have some casual sex sometime?" I say "sure, as long as we keep it casual I'm up for it"

    I can imagine its going to be a text at like 1am on a friday night after we've both been out drinking all night, which is good because it wont be awkward that way. But how about after? Do I just get up and leave? Do I stay to cuddle/talk for a bit? Do I stay the night and leave in the morning?

    Any advice on the situation is much appreciated
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,155
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    do whatever you feel like you're able to do without getting attached. it will be extra hard because you've already dated her, so it might feel natural to cuddle and talk. but, this will more than likely lead to one or both of you having feelings for the other again. do you absolutely not want to get back together with her?
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    22,919
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Manhattan
    hang out a little bit afterwards and then bounce
     
  4. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    I wouldnt mind getting back together with her to be honest, but I'm pretty sure thats not what shes after. Actually, recently she asked if I remembered our relationship and whatnot then proceeded to say something along the lines of "I couldn't see us dating now"

    So I'm pretty sure she doesnt want that. Shes all the time talking about how she wants to be single for a long time and whatnot.
     
  5. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    I wouldnt be able to hop in my car and drive home, but all of my good friends live within walking distance of her house. So I shouldnt stick around long after? What if she does want to cuddle and wants me to stay the night? Does that mean she really might have the hidden intention of getting back together?
     
  6. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    Thats fine with me, I just hope she puts her intentions on the table upfront.



    and I have one more "hitch" that I should have put in my first post but I didnt even think about it......this chick has my virginity :rofl: and i kind of have hers (long story about "kinda" but you can probably guess what happend)

    But like I said, Im able to keep my distance emotionally.....I think
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    22,919
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Manhattan
    As I recall, XaPU!M's all about the FWB's. XaPU!M speaks the FWB gospel. "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." Enjoy the fucking
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,513
    Likes Received:
    12
    ibfail

    You want a relationship with her. Failing is pretty much expected.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    22,919
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Manhattan
    :werd:

    Me, too, but definitely go for it because

    - you may not fail
    - you will have sex
    - you will learn something either way
     
  10. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    I dont want, but I'd be open to a relationship if it happend.

    However if I'm judging by what she says, she doesnt want one. Which is fine, as long as thats on the table before hand. How do I go about setting the rules/intentions of it? Just say something before hand? Or should I screw her, then talk about it. That way I got atleast one fuck out of it if she turns out to want something I dont
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    22,919
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Manhattan
    given the comfort level, i don't see why you wouldn't talk about it in advance
     
  12. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,802
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    agreed. and, because of the history you two have together, i think its almost required. and on top of that, you have said you wouldnt mind getting back together with her. you could get attached if you dont spell out the rules beforehand. just ask her what shes expecting or wants from this, and see if its something you think you can go along with. if she just wants you for sex and then to send you home, as long as you are fine with it, go for it. just be careful about not getting attached.....
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,718
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    I don't see a problem with after sex cuddling... but I wouldn't stay the night.

    I had a FWB once and she always wanted me to stay the night but I typically would leave after 20-30 minutes. I wanted to make sure she knew it was a "no strings attached" type deal. I did stay the night every once in a while though to keep her happy about it. It lasted for about a year until she met someone.
     
  14. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2008
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deployed.
    speak up front, you seem pretty in-tune w/ each other
     
  15. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    126,155
    Likes Received:
    315
    Location:
    Kc
    with my old fb, i had no problem with the other stuff afterwerds. Usuually we would watch tv/movies for a bit, play, cuddle, sleep, and I would rape her a few times in the night. Basically the cuddle part was her reward for putting up with my sadist side.

    Wouldn't hang out, wouldn't call/text her any other time, etc...




    but for other casual ones ? none of that shit. Just stay in bed long enough to relax, catch your breath, etc... then bounce.
     
  16. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,980
    Likes Received:
    0
    Whenever i've had casual sex i've been REALLY averse to the idea of doing something as intimate as cuddling or pillow talk, if I were you i'd have sex, a sammich, and then head out.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,513
    Likes Received:
    12
    :werd: I'm not looking for a bf, I'm looking for a "FUCK BUDDY."
     
  18. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,980
    Likes Received:
    0
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,513
    Likes Received:
    12
  20. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    126,155
    Likes Received:
    315
    Location:
    Kc
    I have like three levels
    casual
    friend
    dating


    casual, in out, don't even need to know your name. stay just long enough to relax unless the roommate or dad or husband is banging on the door.:mamoru:
     
  21. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,980
    Likes Received:
    0
    I LOVE cuddling, but like kissing, i like to keep it for people I care about
     
  22. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,432
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cincinnati
    so if you are having casual sex, you dont kiss?
     
  23. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    21,648
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area

    I don't think it necessarily means that you can't kiss the other person, especially if it's while you're fucking.. Kissing the person hi or bye or making out with them in your car when you pick them up isn't really the type of behavior you want. Kissing is usually considered a more passionate act (not that sex isn't). I actually don't know anyone who's had a FWB situation stay that for very long.. it's always ended with one person or the other developing feelings.
     
  24. panero

    panero availability

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2001
    Messages:
    5,390
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    CI, NY


    .
     
  25. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,980
    Likes Received:
    0
    During sex? Maybe, I avoid if possible. Before or after, fuck no.
     

Share This Page