Discussion in 'On Topic' started by johnson, Jan 20, 2005.
repost from off topic from yesterday
ok, i picked her up tonight and shes home now. Same shit happens, she just yells out (to make herself feel better?) about the smoking and whatnot...but not even to his face. Feeling kinda pissed right now so im just gonna skip eating what she made and go out to burger king or something.
I feel for you, I had a mooch of an older brother like that. He lived off my Mom & me for many months. (I'm a single mom & my mother is retired on a pension). The worst was he was doing meth too, and in the house & she wouldn't do anything. I finally threw him out myself, even though it was her house.
I would move out if I were you, I remember the the nightmare it was to live in that situation. The stress is unbelievable. Good luck either way.
Maybe you could find a roommate to live with? That way you can cut down on the expense of having a whole apartment to yourself. Instead you can get maybe like a two bedroom and split it. Its more economical. www.roommates.com is a good site to find others.
You probably might end up saving $2-300 bucks
I would be wondering what your dad would think of his smoking behaviour and brining unrest to the whole household? I believe that the best thing you can do is to re-install the ventilation system in your house.If your handy make sure that the ventilation for the basement is going directly out of the house, and not thru a circulation thru the entire house. You might want to shut off the ventilation in the basement by blocking it, so he will be the only one exposed to his smoke. Bann smoking from the living room, i don't think it's advicable to go away from the house, i would prefer solving the problem internally. Always try to save your money, your not earning any money by letting your bro chase you out of the house let him be the one who is the victim not you, or your mom. Let him lift his butt, and tell him to get a job like the rest of you all.
If your brother pays the morgage and you pay the utilities, does your mom do anything to run the household?
Get that older brother off his ass, you need to see what is problem is, if he's all out lazy, or if he has social anxiety or something. He might have problems, who knows.
It's obvious that you and your 23 year old brother are running the house. Your older brother has made himself secondary by his actions. Seek family counseling, as you can't keep facilitating this dysfunction. Go with anyone in the family that is willing to go. I can only think that if your brother refuses to work and if your family won't move him out, then you will have to make the move.
The main problem isnt smoke going through the vents. It's smoking IN the house, leaving dirty dishes for everyone else to wash, never cleaning up after himself, etc. Im not gonna replace the vents if the problem still exists. Oh, and he doesnt really listen to anyone.
She works a couple days a week but doesnt make much. We're vietnamese and we had a restaurant for about 7 years where my mom was the main cook. She doesnt know much english so theres not that many job options out there besides being a cook. She pretty much relied on my dad to run the household.
The stereotype is true that asians that own restraunts have their kids working.
He has a couple felon charges (still showing up for court on one charge) so he always complains that no will will hire him...or he cant get a job without a car...or no one wants to help him out...
When he had a job (installing satellite dishes for my cousin's small contract company) he used up the money for drugs (at least a grand a week) and didnt make a simple $300 a MONTH payment on a 2001 Honda Accord V6 so it got reposessed. My cousin fired him because he would always show up late and one day he came in to get his paperwork, then went to a friends house and went back to sleep.
Thats what the 23 year old bro is doing right now...working for my cousin.
Oh yeah, last months gas bill was $250 and I just got this month's bill today....it's $307 .
Doesnt seem to fair that the brother willingly smokes in the house and makes everyone else suffer. See if you guys can work something out, like putting a comfy chair outfront or outback with a can for his butts. I had a cousin that did this SAME shit and was happy as a hog when they got him a chair for outdoors. Honestly, id move out, its not really your responsibilty to be holding up all the bills while the other brother sits on his ass. Does your mom work? I didnt catch that anywhere...
you can get a car for 1k, its gonna be a beater, but it will be YOURS and than use that other 1K for deposits on your own place. Get a buddy to move in with you to save on bills and youll be set. Make it work, make it happen, youll be happy you did
You have to stay in the house.
Your brother has to leave.
It's that simple, if he doesn't want to contribute to the sake of your own family , then he is disrespectfull and a worthless individual which you better get rid of then stay along with.
Motivate your mom to kick him out.
My mom wont kick him out. Itll be too hard on her. She would rather him live at home then who knows where. The other day she was yelling at him for smoking in the house (like the other numerous times) then right after she asked him to come up and eat.
Thats what my plan is.
dude. i have been in a semi related situation. and its not worth staying at home. i am glad that i got kicked out. been out for 1.5yrs now and its heaven compared to before. dont bother with the family. nothing will change and you just keep getting more and more angry with the situation. your bro is one hell of a scum bag for being like that. kick that boys ass.