Ok so heres the situation OT'ers. I just recently went through a manic phase and found out I am actually bipolar instead of just unipolar depression. During this manic phase I alienated and scared all my "local" college friends away (most of my good friends went out of state /town). I also fucked up my semester since I stopped going to classes a few weeks before finals while I went manic. Me and my roomate had a falling out and I am now living with my dad. I was hospitalized twice when I was manic and i met this crazy chick there that was pretty cool. After i got into outpaitent I started hanging out with her (shes married and has 2 kids, 23). She tells me she likes me and that she is getting a divorce from her husband. I was kinda like whoa wait i hope youre not just divorcing your husband to like be with me or something but she said she wouldn't of had the courage to divorce him (hes apparently an asshole) until she met me so i still feel responsible or whatever. Time goes on, she moves into her own place, and I stop by her place and we have our first sexual expierence. Im a relatively inexpirenced lover and she had me so excited that i literally only lasted one thrust (fuck she was tight). This was my first time having sex sober so I wasnt prepared for it. Well I tried my best to pull out but i dont know If I suceeded and I was having insane panic attacks all night and couldnt sleep (and i didnt know wtf to say so i didnt say anything). It has now been 4 months since that day and I havent called her or anything. I kinda want to get back in touch with her when i get more stable but Im pussying out and im skerred i have some kid growin in this single mom with 2 kids already. My avoidiant personality disorder is out of control and I rarely leave the house and i have bad anxiety lately. WTF TO DO TLDR;Cliffs; Im fucking batshit insane biploar and I probally came (Ejaculated) into another crazy chick and have insane kids but im too much of a pussy to get back in touch with said chick WTF should i do (been 4 months)?