I've been lifting for about 4-years now. Recently I've been looking for way to interpret situations so that it makes me feel bad. If I notice that someone is waiting for a bench or equipment that I'm using I'll apologize, then pick up all my shit and leave that side of the gym. It probably makes these people feel bad, but I feel that its more important that I make myself feel like shit at their expense. Typically by about 45-minutes of the hour I plan to lift I've made myself depressed enough that I'm out of energy and I skip the last lift, sometimes skip the cardio, then go to my car and I feel like I could cry if I weren't a cyborg. Is this really, really bad? The only problem with general narcissism is that I have incredibly low self esteem...I suck, I know it, and its caused me to become a hermit.