SRS Someone please help me get it together

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bitetobreakskinn, Dec 12, 2008.

  1. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

    Mar 1, 2004
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    There's so much stuff in my life happening what I feel like is all at once right now, and I don't know how to handle it.

    These are all the things that are going on right now:

    Health- I have a dull pain in my left side, that I thought was another kidney stone forming when I first got it about a month ago now. It hasn't gone away, and now that I'm actually making plans to make a doctors appointment, it seems to be getting worse. I'm a big wuss when it comes to surgery, and I'm afraid that the doctor is going to say something bad is wrong with me and that I need to have something done.

    Life- I'm finally buying by own place and moving out on my own. I'm 25 years old, and it's definitely time for this to be happening, but now that it's getting closer to being reality, I'm starting to become scared of my future, and if I'm going to be happy or not being by myself. I have a family who will still be close to me, and a girlfriend who helps me whenever she can, but I'm scared of still being "alone" in spite of all of this. This is probably one of the biggest changes in my life that I can remember for a long time.

    Life- My girlfriend and I, who I'm absolutely crazy about, have been fighting on and off heavily for the past few weeks. I know girl problems are dumb/trivial when it comes down to it, but I genuinely care about this girl, and love having her in my life. Her and I are both tired of fighting, and are both working towards resolving the issues that start the arguements, but with everything else going on I feel like this issue is amplified.

    As of right now, all of these things might seem dumb and small, but I don't know where to begin in resolving all of this. I can usually keep my life together pretty well, but at this point everything is making my head spin, and it's driving me nuts at night. I woke up restless, and posting this feels like the best way for me to get it out right now.

    If anyone has ever went through something like this, or has any ideas for me, I would genuinely appreciate it. I have a work party to go to with said girlfriend tonight (Friday), but because of everything going on, all I want to do is lay around and be miserable instead of going.

  2. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

    Dec 16, 2007
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    Are you sure the kidney stone isnt still in there? Most of them take years and years to form. I had the same problem then had to get it surgically removed. Its the horrible pain that got to me.

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Jun 22, 2007
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    Could be another stone lodged in the ureter. If true, a lithotripsy (simple procedure) could solve the issue.

    The fear is a lot worse than the reality itself. You'll come to cherish having your own space, but it's important that you make the effort to allow time for others and to keep socially active.

    Try the 5 min tool that I keep posting:

    The 5 Minute Tool

    This is a tool I use on my family constantly. It may not work if the people you're dealing with are psychologically sick or manipulative. Mutual respect, and the ability to listen is necessary for this to be successful.

    1:I'll get everyone together that I feel is involved. I will then ask if I can be allowed to speak without interruption for a minimum of 5 minutes.

    2:If during that 5 minutes anyone interrupts me I will get up and leave. I warn each person before I speak that I will give them the same courtesy when I'm done speaking.

    3:I then begin to talk about how I feel regarding each situation, without blaming anyone or pointing the finger or raising my voice. I simply say "I feel - etc etc about this or that", and this helps to prevent anyone from becoming defensive. I remain honest, and sincere about how I feel, and I don't try to protect anyone from how I really feel. If they get upset, while I'm being honest - it's unfortunate, but as long as talk truthful while being respectful, then I let them feel however they want. It's their reaction, not mine. I can't control how they feel.

    conclusion I keep this under 5 minutes to ensure that I hold their attention. I then finish up, and listen to the responses of each person one at a time without interrupting them. This can be a very awesome weapon of communication.

    I've been through all of that, and it's all normal man. It's all going to improve I'm sure. The first thing is your health. Take it seriously, because it's easiest to solve a problem before it snowballs out of control. The girlfriend thing -- use the 5 minute tool, that should do the trick. Listen to each other, stop arguing, stop talking over each other, stop trying to "be right, be heard, control" _-- Just stop. You'll see, things are going to look up.

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