I have a situation on my hands that I know the answer to, but I just want to make sure with you guys/gals that I'm not being an asshole. My Stepson is home from culinary school, which he failed, and is now staying with his aunt, my wifes sister. My wifes parents started some shit with her, that she should be supporting him financially because her sister can't afford to have him live there. Keep in mind the boy is capable of working, he is 20. My wifes sister also agrees that we should give her money to take the weight off of her. We did offer him a room in our house, but he refused because he and I don't see eye to eye on anything. Last Thanksgiving we had a near knock down drag out because he questioned my authority in my own house. I told my 12 year old daughter that she couldn't do something,(slips my memory now what it was) and he stated that he didn't understand why, and that I should let her do what she wants. Totally ruined the holiday. I don't particlarly want him living in my house again, but he is my wifes son, and I would support anything she wanted. Back to the main subject though. Are we financially responsible for this adult child? Do I have to live the curse of this kid my entire life, or at some point can I sit back and let him make his own decisions and his own way? When I turned 18 I joined the military. At 21, I was married to a woman with a child, and at 22 I had a son of my own. When do I JUST SAY NO? My in-laws are really pressing my wife to give her sister money. She feels obligated to do so. I don't. They also told me that they think I am a bum, that if I asn't living off of their daughter, that she would be able to take care of her most important child.(their words, not mine) In my defense I am a Lab Manager/Process Chemist. I make near 6 figures in that alone. I also own an apartment building, and another small mobile oil changing busines that doesn't do to bad. They have no idea. I make more in a year than they made in the last 10. It's not that I don't want to help the boy, he refuses to help himself. I come from a broken family and as a kid, my family (me, my mom, and younger brother) had very little. I've worked my ass off to never be in that position again. I tried to instill this same strong work ethic into my stepson but it never took, so to speak. I refuse to give him a hand out if he isn't making an effort to work, and make his own way. I have nothing but respect for people that work hard to achieve. I have helped total strangers, and never expected anything in return, and even refused it. Their success is payment enough. Am I wrong here? If you tell me I am, I'll reconsider my decision. I want to help him, but as I stated earlier, he won't help himself. What do I do?